Pair Coaching

Three Chairs by Paul Keller paulk 4570800658 EDIT

In addition to coaching CEOs and other senior leaders one-on-one, I also conduct pair coaching engagements, typically with co-founders or with a CEO and another C-level officer. There's no single best approach to pair coaching, but there are several common arrangements. Here are the configurations I'm most familiar with, and below is more information about the approach I employ in my practice:

1. A pair working together with the same coach as a trio to directly address issues in the pair relationship or other shared challenges. This arrangement may also include occasional one-on-one sessions, but most sessions are held jointly.

2. A pair working with the same coach in parallel one-on-one engagements. Issues in the relationship may be addressed, but that's not the primary focus. This arrangement may also include occasional joint sessions, but most sessions are held separately.

3. A pair working one-on-one with two different coaches. The coaches may confer with each other on how best to support the pair, and all four parties may occasionally meet jointly.

4. A pair working one-on-one with two with different coaches, while also engaging a third coach to work with them as a trio to address issues in the pair relationship or other shared challenges.

Most of the pair coaching I conduct follows the first and second models above. I've worked in trios with co-founders as well as with CEOs and one of their direct reports. I've also worked with co-founders in parallel one-on-one engagements, and on occasion we met as a trio. Similarly, I've worked simultaneously in one-on-one engagements with spouses, but our work focused on their respective professional lives, not their personal relationship.

Beyond a formal pair coaching engagement, I've also met on an ad hoc basis with an individual client's co-founder or another colleague, such as a Board member, although such meetings generally occur infrequently. And I've worked with two (or more) people who were colleagues in the same organization but who had few overlapping duties. In these cases it's preferable that all parties are aware that they're working with me--being transparent about the relationship while maintaining confidentiality around the issues being discussed helps to ensure high levels of trust.

If you and another person are looking to work with me in one of these capacities, I'm happy to talk with you both about that possibility. If you haven't yet seen these other pages on my site, they'll help you get started:

What I do and my background

More on my approach to coaching

Availability, cadence, and fees

How to choose a coach

Contact me

 

Photo by Paul Keller.

Very Cheap, Then Very Expensive (On Job Titles)

Crown by UK Parliament uk_parliament 4131162460 EDIT

Despite the fact that people do not acknowledge a preference for hierarchy, such a preference can be inferred from behavioral patterns... The strongest piece of evidence is simply the regularity with which this form of organization is produced... When scholars attempt to find an organization that is not characterized by hierarchy, they cannot... In sum, the production of hierarchy is a central and omnipresent component of organizing.

~Deborah Gruenfeld and Larissa Tiedens [1]

Once you confer the Director or VP title on one person, you are signaling to every person in the company that titles are fair game at your company. Get ready for every person in the company (who deems themselves ready for the title) to campaign for a title in both subtle and unsubtle ways, for almost every accomplishment possible.

~Gokul Rajaram [2]

As psychologists Gruenfeld and Tiedens make clear, the impulse to establish hierarchical distinctions is universal [3], and as I've noted before, they "aren’t justifying or rationalizing hierarchy, and they cite a complex set of both positive and negative effects that result from hierarchical structures in organizational life, but they clearly demonstrate its persistence as an organizing principle." [4]

A theme in my work with founder/CEOs is what I call "the judicious imposition of structure," which includes the need to clarify who's responsible for what and how decisions get made as the organization scales. [5] And an inevitable step in that process is the creation of hierarchical job titles, but as founder and investor Rajaram also makes clear, establishing titles comes at a cost.

Those costs are often hidden at first, so titles may seem cheap--I've even had clients call them "free." But not only are those hidden costs eventually revealed, they also tend to escalate--so supposedly "free" titles ultimately become very expensive. And yet it's neither feasible nor desirable for companies to avoid titles forever. What explains these dynamics, and what can founders do about them?

Why Titles Seem So Cheap

They're not "real."

When a company begins awarding titles, they're aspirational assertions and acts of imagination, existing only within the arbitrary confines of an org chart, which itself may be largely notional. Such titles have no intrinsic validity or independent worth--they're not code or cash--so founders may conclude that it costs little to offer them in exchange for services rendered.

They offset other constraints.

Most early-stage organizations are constrained in a number of predictable ways. If they're earning any revenue at all, they're rarely profitable, so cash compensation shortens their runway and increases the pressure on leadership to raise more capital sooner. They're also risky and unproven ventures that lack an established brand, so founders can find it difficult to convince talented people to join or stay with the company. In this context a title can be used to attract or retain employees who might pursue other forms of compensation or status elsewhere.

Many founders don't care about them.

As LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman has noted, startup founders have much in common with pirates--not the sociopathic criminal types, but the "lovable rogues" who break archaic rules and bypass official channels in order to promote creative problem-solving and drive change. [6] In my experience this attitude is why many founders become founders in the first place, and they dismiss titles as so much corporate bureaucracy that can be safely ignored: If someone wants a particular title, who cares? Let them have it.

Why Titles Become So Expensive

Reality is socially constructed.

When enough people--or the right people--believe a story, it suddenly becomes true. [7] Cash itself--and any other medium of exchange--is nothing but a collective narrative, and when the story changes, so does the value of the asset in question. The same is true of titles, and as a company scales and becomes more substantive, the value of a title within that construct adjusts accordingly.

They become constraints in themselves.

This is the essence of the risks highlighted by Rajaram: "Titles become a motivator... Titles lead to entitlement... The title parade never ends." [8] Titles are useful because they have the ability to influence behavior--they can attract or retain talent, and they clarify responsibilities and decision rights. But if obtaining a given title becomes an employee's superordinate goal, that drive is now the tail that wags the dog.

They're very difficult to take back.

Rajaram calls it "impossible" to "untitle" employees, and although I've seen it happen I would agree that it's very difficult. The most common challenge is the employee who continues to perform at an adequate level and remains an asset to the company but whose growth isn't keeping pace with the organization around them: The capable individual contributor who's unable to manage, or the capable manager who's unable to "manage managers." Even if they're willing to relinquish their title--which is rare--they will likely be perceived as having fallen short, which will hamper their effectiveness.

So What Can Be Done?

The first step for founders is raising your awareness of these dynamics and avoiding unnecessary mistakes. Even though titles seem cheap at first, they will inevitably become expensive, and that inflation should be factored into job design decisions from the start. With that in mind, Rajaram offers two specific proposals:

a. Descriptive titles for individual contributors: Create job titles that precisely articulate what the person actually does. For example, Software Engineer, Firmware Engineer, Business Development Representative, Product Manager, Product Marketing Manager. This forces you to clearly spell out each person’s high level job description concisely as part of the job title, which is an excellent organizational design goal in and of itself.

b. A better label for people managers: Use the term "Lead" (or a similarly generic term) for all people managers. This word replaces "Manager," "Director," "VP" or any other titles. Also make people manager titles as descriptive as possible. For example, Product Management Lead, Firmware Engineering Lead, <ProductName> Engineering Lead, <ProductName> Product Lead, <Geography> Sales Lead. [9]

I support these ideas, and I've seen a number of clients employ them effectively. But my experience also suggests that they're unlikely to work in every organization, and they almost certainly won't work indefinitely. Bear in mind Gruenfeld and Tiedens' conclusion--"the production of hierarchy is a central and omnipresent component of organizing"--and it becomes apparent that in most cases efforts to forestall the establishment of hierarchical titles will eventually fail. So what else can be done?

Learn to level.

While it's difficult to "untitle" an employee who's under-performing relative to their role but remains a valued asset, with foresight and tact it's possible to level them under a new manager while retaining them within the organization. As I've noted before, the factors that contribute to a successful levelling include:

  • Data pointing to a performance gap.
  • Non-defensiveness on the part of the employee.
  • Trust in your good intentions toward them.
  • The potential to learn from the incoming manager.
  • Clarity on the distinctions between the employee's current and impending roles.
  • Graciousness on your part throughout the process. [10]

This is much easier, of course, if you remember that titles eventually become expensive and avoid "over-titling" people from the outset. Failing that, this is why "Senior Directors" and "SVPs" exist.

Pay attention to status.

Sufficient role clarity allows us to answer some questions that are fundamental to organizational life: Who are we to each other? What are our relative positions in this environment? As I've noted before, "One of the most significant ways we establish role clarity in organizations is through formal hierarchies and reporting relationships, which often allow us to answer the questions above." [11]

The dilemma, however, is that "even as these tools create greater role clarity, they set in motion a process that eventually generates role confusion. The key issue is the steady upward pressure experienced within a hierarchy to maintain and increase one's relative status." [12] But titles are just one form of status enjoyed by employees, and there are many others at your disposal: Access to and attention from senior leaders. Participation in decision-making. Early dissemination of information. Public acknowledgment and appreciation.

Your tasks as a founder are to appreciate the essential role that status plays in organizational life [13] and to learn about the specific forms of status that your direct reports care about. You may not be able to give them the title they want--but you may not have to.

Ask better questions.

Simply asking "How can we prevent prevent people from desiring hierarchical titles indefinitely?" is unrealistic in most circumstances and can even be counter-productive. Particularly when hiring for senior leadership roles in later-stage organizations, the ambiguity inherent in a generic term such as "Lead" will turn away any number of talented people who have reached the point in their careers where they're unwilling to settle for anything less than a hierarchical title that meets or exceeds their previous levels. That said, there are a number of critical questions you should be asking:

  • Where are we feeling pressure to add or clarify titles? What specific titles are people seeking?
  • What are the implications of these titles for the organization today? What might they be in the future?
  • If we delay implementing these titles, how might we benefit? Alternatively, what costs might we pay?
  • If we implemented these titles now, how might we benefit?
  • Knowing that this would be an irreversible decision, what costs will we pay, not just now but thereafter?
  • At what point will this cost/benefit calculus change?

Hierarchy isn't autocracy.

Despite our universal preference for hierarchy, it's fallen into disfavor as a result of its abuse by autocratic leaders. We see this on a grand historical scale in the form of dictatorial governments, but it occurs every day in more mundane settings whenever a leader exerts positional power to overcome resistance and satisfy their personal preferences. But the establishment of titles need not be a step in this direction.

A hallmark of a healthy organization is an ability to distinguish between hierarchy and autocracy, and work by professor of management Lindred Greer can help us understand the difference:

In the past 15 years of my research, my collaborators and I have documented the many and nefarious ways in which hierarchy at work can cause tensions, conflict, and inequity. But I was forced to face the evidence that hierarchy can just as well lead to better coordination and collaboration... Based on extensive research and observation, I’ve come to realize that hierarchy is necessary to get work done, and it can be a force for good--better performance, relationships, and well-being at work--if teams are structured well and led by a skillful leader... My research has uncovered four different factors of work hierarchies that can lead to better performance, better relationships, and more cooperation...

1. Build hierarchies based on expertise...

2. Give employees areas of ownership...

3. Create a triangle rather than a ladder. A hierarchy can take the form of a ladder or a triangle: a single line of people with less and less power, or a pyramid where lower levels get wider and wider...

4. Reduce the power distance. Finally, the most effective hierarchies are the ones with a short distance between top and bottom, both objectively and according to people’s perceptions. [14]

Rather than seeking to forego titles as a means of avoiding autocracy, how might you incorporate these guidelines into the establishment of an organizational structure that's both more hierarchical and more effective?

 


Footnotes

[1] Organizational Preferences and Their Consequences (Deborah Gruenfeld and Larissa Tiedens, Chapter 33 in the Handbook of Social Psychology, 2010)

[2] Titles: The One Thing CEOs Should Delay as Long as Possible (Gokul Rajaram, Medium, 2017)

[3] Critics of hierarchy may point to the alternative offered by "holacracy," coined in 2007 by consultant Brian Robertson and implemented most notably at shoe retailer Zappos, as well to other egalitarian approaches to management dating back to the 1970s and '80s. But as executive coach Harrison Monarth has noted, research suggests that the absence of job titles in no way eliminates the process of determining hierarchical status in organizational life:

Humans subconsciously rely on visible cues like attractive features or extroverted personalities to assign status in a group that has no labels to indicate otherwise. In a company devoid of bosses, these perceptions of status will take hold to establish a pecking order. (A Company Without Job Titles Will Still Have Hierarchies, Harvard Business Review, 2014)

And in recent years even Zappos has begun to return to a more hierarchical approach, as observed by journalist Aimee Groth. (Zappos has quietly backed away from holacracy, Quartz at Work, 2020)

[4] Leadership as Performing Art

[5] The Judicious Imposition of Structure

[6] Uber Needs to Transition from "Pirate" to "Navy" (Reid Hoffman, LinkedIn, 2017)

[7] For more on this idea, see The Social Construction of Reality: A Treatise in the Sociology of Knowledge (Peter Berger and Thomas Luckmann, 1967).

[8] Rajaram, 2017.

[9] Ibid.

[10] The Fine Art of Levelling

[11] Role Clarity and Role Confusion

[12] Ibid.

[13] For more on the importance of status, see the following:

[14] Four Keys to a Healthy Workplace Hiearchy (Lindred Greer, Greater Good Science Center, 2020). For more on Greer's insights on hierarchy, see Why Teams Still Need Leaders, an interview with Frieda Klotz (MIT Sloan Management Review, 2019).

 

Photo by UK Parliament.

Don't Take the Bait

A theme in my practice is helping clients deal with and learn from fraught situations in contentious relationships, and one of the most important lessons is: Don't take the bait. And what makes these interactions so fraught and contentious is the inevitable presence of bait--something that tempts us to engage but conceals a very tricky hook.

Most bait is unintentional, arising merely because people are often sloppy and careless communicators: The irrelevant issue that sidetracks the conversation. The intemperate comment that adds unnecessary emphasis. A lack of focus that drives us to distraction.

Some bait is set out deliberately, because some people really are trying to trap us: The jab at an old scar, not fully healed. The renegotiation of previously resolved issues. The inflammatory remark, the thinly veiled insult, the bad faith accusation.

And some bait is of our own making, and these temptations are the hardest to resist: The need to have the last word when we know we should keep our mouth shut. The impulse to sell past the close. The urge to explain when we're feeling defensive, and what's really called for is a simple apology.

It sounds so obvious: Don't take the bait! But in truth it's one of our most difficult tasks as communicators, and often we're not up to it. We take the bait over and over again. It isn't a matter of intelligence--I see exceptionally smart people do this every day. As is so often the case in human affairs, the key is emotion regulation.

Resisting the bait is easy in a reflective moment, when we're in full command of our faculties. Why would we ever fall for it? The challenge is bringing this same mindset to bear in the heat of battle when stakes are high--because that's when bait is irresistible. It looks good, it smells good, and we know it will feel so good to grab hold and engage--and then, suddenly, we're on the hook. So what can we do?

Anticipate It

It would be convenient if our relationships were clearly defined, with "allies" on one side and "antagonists" on the other. But life is rarely this simple, and contentious relationships usually involve dynamic interests that shift according to circumstance. And we rarely do our best thinking when we're surprised, yet so often we rush into potentially fraught situations without stopping to consider: What's the state of this relationship right now? How might the other party react in these circumstances? What bait am I likely to encounter as result? And how can I put myself in the best position to resist it?

Prepare for It

Emotion regulation takes a lifetime to master, but it's an eminently learnable skill. The key is investing over time in habitual activities that enhance our capacity for emotion regulation in the moment. I encourage clients to prepare by "getting MESSy": Commit to a mindfulness practice. Get regular exercise and sufficient sleep on a consistent basis. And minimize avoidable sources of chronic stress.

Learn from It

We will take the bait, in any number of situations--it's an unavoidable function of being human. But optimally we're able to distill a set of lessons each time it happens, understand ourselves better in the process, and apply that learning in the future. With deliberate practice, we should be able not only to resist the bait we expect, but also to step into even more challenging and uncertain situations, with even higher stakes, and still achieve our goals.

 

Photo by RawPixel.

The Problem with Fighting Fires

Firefighters by USAG Humphreys usaghumphreys 8123557483 EDIT

The problem isn't that you're too busy.

You are too busy, but that's not the problem.

If you view being busy as the problem, there is no solution.

You will always be too busy, and that will never change.

As Andy Grove once noted: "A manager's work is never done. There is always more to be done, more that should be done, always more than can be done."

The problem is that you're acting like a firefighter instead of a fire marshal. You're constantly rushing from one fire to the next, never slowing down to install smoke detectors.

The problem is that a few fires are truly dangerous, but most can be safely ignored, and you're not taking the time to tell the difference.

The problem is that firefighting is thrilling and addictive and makes you feel needed--and installing smoke detectors is boring.

The problem is that you're really good at fighting fires.

 


The line by Andy Grove is from High Output Management, page 47 (1983).

 

For Further Reading

What Do Great Leaders Do?

The Most Productive People Know Who to Ignore

Playing with Matches (On Feeling Needed as a Leader)

Importance vs. Urgency

 

Photo by USAG Humphreys.

The Smoke Detector Principle (Why We Overreact)

Smoke by William Warby warby 11774542195 EDIT

My clients occupy demanding professional roles that often involve navigating high-stakes situations under conditions of uncertainty, so it's no surprise that a theme in my practice is how to cope with the resulting stress. And the risks are real, with large amounts of money, career prospects, and entire companies on the line--and yet it's almost never the case that actual lives are on the line. My clients are business leaders, not trauma surgeons, so when we talk about an "existential threat," it's a metaphor.

That said, it's not uncommon for a client to say, "I know it's not life-or-death, but it feels like it. I know I'll survive no matter what happens, but I feel a sense of doom or panic." These feelings rarely lead my clients to take steps they deeply regret--although it happens on occasion--but they may act in haste or make suboptimal decisions in an effort to diminish the intensity of such strong emotions, and no matter the outcome the experience is profoundly unpleasant while it lasts.

This mismatch between our cognitive understanding of a situation--what we know--and our emotional response--how we feel--is a hallmark of human psychology. And like so many other confounding aspects of how our minds work, it benefits the species while impairing our individual experience. It's a feature that acts like a bug.

Physician and evolutionary psychiatrist Randolph Nesse calls this dynamic the "Smoke Detector Principle," [1] referring to the fact that most alarms result from minor kitchen mishaps, and very, very few actually alert us to a dangerous fire:

Most of the responses that cause human suffering are unnecessary in the individual instance but still perfectly normal because they have low costs but protect against huge possible losses. They are like false alarms from smoke detectors. The occasional wail when you burn the toast is worth it to ensure that you are warned early about every real fire...

Systems that regulate protective responses...turn the response on whenever the benefits are greater than the costs, even if that means false alarms. The costs of such responses tend to be low compared to the benefits of avoiding danger. So when danger may or may not be present, the small cost of a response ensures protection against a much larger harm. That is why we put up with false alarms from smoke detectors. [2]

Nesse points out that our "protective response systems" originated eons ago in an environment radically different from the world that we inhabit today, and he puts us in the shoes of one of our distant ancestors to illustrate how these systems work:

You are thirsty on the ancient African savanna and a watering hole is just ahead, but you hear a noise in the grass. It could be a lion, or it might just be a monkey. Should you flee? It depends on the costs. Assume that fleeing in panic costs 100 calories. Not fleeing costs nothing if it is only a monkey, but if the noise was made by a lion, the cost is 100,000 calories--about how much energy a lion would get from having you for lunch!

Louder sounds are more likely to be caused by a lion. How loud does the sound need to be before you flee? Do the math. The cost of not fleeing if the lion is present is 1,000 times greater than the cost of a panic attack, so the optimal strategy is to run like hell whenever the sound is loud enough to indicate a lion is present with a probability greater than 1/1,000. This means that 999 times out of 1,000 you will flee unnecessarily. However, 1 time out of 1,000, fleeing will save your life. [3]

Multiply this over 200,000 years and some 10,000 human generations, and we can easily see why we're prone to overreact. Evolution, as always, has solved not for any individual's peace of mind, but for the collective survival of the species. The early humans who were more likely to flee in panic lived on to pass down their (highly-sensitive) protective response systems. Their more laid-back peers did not.

In light of these ideas, it's easy to leap to the conclusion that emotions should be suppressed in order to make better judgments--but not only is this impossible, it's simply wrong. As I've written before,

Suppression is essentially an act of make-believe--we pretend we're not feeling what we're feeling and hope to distract ourselves until the feeling passes. We can do this for short periods, but not for an extended length of time--and some research suggests that the effort may be counter-productive. [4]

Even if we could suppress emotions on a sustained basis, it would be the equivalent of removing the batteries from our smoke detectors to ensure that we're never interrupted--and we know how that would end, as the late psychologist Daniel Wegner warned:

It is clear that emotion should not be very susceptible to willful control. If we could turn off all our emotions, feel no pain, never laugh, not be gripped by fear or despair, stop being excited, and so on, we could easily end up dead... The priority of emotions over will is important for our survival because it allows our plans to be interrupted by the immediate pressures of reality. [5]

And in contrast to the conventional belief that emotion and reason act in opposition to each other, work by neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, among others, has made it clear that emotion and reason act in concert, with feelings serving as essential inputs to the reasoning process. [6] As Damasio has written,

I will not deny that uncontrolled or misdirected emotion can be a major source of irrational behavior. Nor will I deny that seemingly normal reason can be disturbed by subtle biases rooted in emotion... Nonetheless, what the traditional account leaves out is [this]... Reduction in emotion may constitute an equally important source of irrational behavior. [7, emphasis original]

So if we can't (and wouldn't want to) suppress our feelings, and if emotions are necessary in order to reason effectively, what can we do when we overreact? How should we respond to that shrieking smoke detector? There's no simple solution, of course, but there are many steps we can take that will help:

Cultivate our capacity for emotion regulation. We can't control our feelings, but we can influence them.

Get MESSy. Commit to a mindfulness practice, regular exercise, sufficient sleep, and stress management.

Slow down. Counteract our reflexive responses by making time to reflect on, write about, and discuss our experience with people we trust.

 


Footnotes

[1] For Nesse's original work on the "smoke detector principle," see the following:

[2] Good Reasons for Bad Feelings: Insights from the Frontier of Evolutionary Psychiatry, pages 40-41 and 73-74 (Randolph Nesse, 2020)

[3] Ibid, page 74.

[4] The Tyranny of Feelings. For more on the impact of suppressing emotions:

[5] White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts: Suppression, Obsession, and the Psychology of Mental Control, page 123 (Daniel Wegner, 2nd edition, 1994)

[6] Antonio Damasio on Emotion and Reason

[7] Descartes' Error: Emotion, Reason and the Human Brain , pages 52-53 (Antonio Damasio, 2005)

 

Photo by William Warby.

Confront, Co-opt, Avoid, Ignore (On Rivals)

Confront-Coopt-Avoid-Ignore

A theme in my practice is helping clients navigate a relationship with a rival. In a better world, we might convert our rivals into collaborators, and sometimes that is indeed an option--but not always. Some rivals are external competitors pursuing the same customers or business opportunities. Others are peers or colleagues going after the same roles or internal resources. On occasion these are openly antagonistic relationships, but more often they're what I've described as "power struggles among nice people":

We often think of a power struggle as a rancorous, zero-sum battle between bitter enemies, but that's just one version, and it's relatively rare. Far more common are the everyday efforts [to] [influence] others, [wield] authority, [maintain] status. [1]

When facing a rival, we always have four options: confront them, co-opt them, avoid them, or ignore them. These are by no means mutually exclusive, and we may adopt any or all of these tactics over the course of the relationship. The key is identifying which option best suits a given situation at that point in time, while ensuring that we're not simply solving for our comfort with a given tactic (or our discomfort with others).

Confront

This entails a show of force with the goal of compelling the rival to give up and back down. It often comes to mind first because that's how many of us were trained to think about rivalries, and it should certainly be in our repertoire. As I've noted before, comfort with conflict is an essential skill in professional life. [2] But it can become a reflexive response, particularly if the relationship was an antagonistic one before the emergence of a rivalry or if the conflict has come to feel "personal" in some sense. At such times it behooves us to remember that "force isn't power," and there may be other, more effective means at our disposal. [3]

Co-opt

Rivalries emerge when resources and opportunities are scarce or finite (or are perceived to be). But the object of a given rivalry is rarely our counterpart's only goal or aspiration. In almost all cases they want something else as well--and if we can learn more about their broader interests, it may be possible for us to convince them to substitute an aim equally valuable to them and less valuable to us. Optimally we can induce them to accept an offer that costs us little or nothing. Here it's important to maintain contact and build trust in order to reduce the information asymmetry in the relationship, which typically involves approaching it as a negotiation. [4]

Avoid

In emphasizing the importance of being comfortable with conflict, I'm not suggesting that avoidance is unworthy or illegitimate--not all conflicts merit the same amounts of attention and energy. [5] There are many different ways to avoid a rival--pursue alternative goals, defer open conflict, recruit allies to serve as proxies. The common thread is maintaining our awareness of the rival and their aims while minimizing direct contact. Sometimes this should be taken literally--at certain points in the relationship it may not be in our interests to have any interactions with a rival. Or if we can't avoid interactions, we can still choose to avoid the subject of the rivalry--this is one reason why I often think of leadership as a performance. [6]

Ignore

And at times we need to go a step beyond avoidance and completely ignore our rival and the rivalry itself. This option sometimes fails to occur to us, in part because contentious relationships usually generate strong feelings, and emotions are attention magnets. [7] We may find ourselves ruminating on the situation when there's no productive action to take and even proactive steps to avoid our rival are a waste of effort. But as the early 20th century comedian W.C. Fields once said, "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to." [8]

 


Footnotes

[1] Power Struggles Among Nice People

[2] The Value of a Good Fight

[3] Force Isn't Power

[4] For more on negotiation, see the following:

[5] Conflict Modes and Managerial Styles

[6] Leadership as a Performing Art

[7] Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Something

[8] My Favorite Piece of Advice...

 

Photos: Boxers by IBA Boxing. Bullion by 401(K) 2012. Detour by R. Nial Bradshaw. Hand by Tobias Begemann.

Work with Whatever Shows Up

Among my most important developmental experiences was the more than 1,500 hours I spent in T-groups, the experiential learning methodology developed by pioneering social psychologist Kurt Lewin in the late 1940s and deployed at Stanford (among many other places) in the 1960s. And one of the most valuable lessons I learned in that setting was: Work with whatever shows up.

Whoever shows up--that's the group. Don’t worry about who's not there--focus on who is there. Whatever anyone needs to talk about, that's the agenda. Don’t worry about what you're "supposed to" discuss--focus on what is being discussed. Whatever happens is what's happening. Don’t worry about what "should" or "shouldn't" happen--focus on what is happening. Work with whatever shows up.

Although I've always identified primarily as an executive coach who works one-on-one with leaders, I spent so much time as a T-group facilitator not only because I enjoyed it and found it meaningful (although I did, immensely), but also because it made me a better coach. Having a candid, potentially fraught interaction with someone while the other 12 members of the group observed or joined in gave me much more confidence that I could handle any challenging issues that might come up in a one-on-one coaching session. And the tremendous variability of what 14 people might come up with in a given group left me prepared for anything that might happen with a coaching client.

All of that was excellent preparation for a coaching session yesterday. My client and I were talking by phone while he was on a walk in downtown San Francisco. About two-thirds of the way through the call I heard some shouting, my client suddenly stopped talking, and then there was a series of unintelligible noises. It became clear to me that something was happening to my client--an incident of some sort--although I had no idea what was going on.

Finally, after what seemed like ages but must have been less than a minute, my client returned to the line, recovering his breath. A homeless man, possibly mentally ill, had fixated on my client, screamed at him, and chased him, seemingly intent on causing harm. My client was able to elude him and get to safety, but it had been a shock.

There was a temptation in that moment that we both felt to "resume" our conversation, as if we had been "interrupted." And yet that struck me as precisely the wrong thing to do. Instead of trying (or pretending) to ignore what just happened, it seemed important to do the opposite: Notice it, acknowledge it, integrate it into our conversation. We did, and we found that rather than distracting us from the topic at hand, our discussion of what had happened contributed to an even deeper understanding.

A simple lesson, one I've learned many times before, but worth repeating, as it's so easy to forget in the heat of the moment: Work with whatever shows up.

 

Photo by Kamil Kaczor.

The Value of Embarrassment

Facepalm by Pixabay boy-666803_960_720 EDIT

I'm intimately familiar with embarrassment. I've been embarrassed by not knowing the answer. [1] I've been embarrassed by something I said. [2] I've been embarrassed by something I wrote. [3] And I've been embarrassed by failure and poor performance. [4]

None of these experiences were pleasant. They were all, in the moment, quite dreadful. But they were also extremely valuable--and I've come to appreciate the importance of embarrassment and what it can teach us, particularly when we're in a leadership role. And it's when we're acting as a leader that our embarrassment is most visible, most painful and most useful.

The eminent sociologist and social psychologist Erving Goffman offers a concise explanation of the cause of embarrassment that's relevant here: "It occurs whenever an individual is felt to have projected incompatible definitions of himself before those present." [5] Psychologist Robert Edelmann provides further context: "The crucial condition necessary for embarrassment to occur is that an individual behaves in a manner inconsistent with the way in which he or she would have wished to behave." [6]

These points aptly describe my own experiences. I'm not always embarrassed by not knowing the answer, or by saying something thoughtless, or by writing something inaccurate, or by failure and poor performance. I was embarrassed in the situations noted above because my intended self-presentation was at odds with my actual self-presentation. And in most cases my wish that I had behaved differently was heightened because I was in a leadership role.

If you're a leader, you probably experienced something similar in the situations in which you've felt embarrassed. You showed up like someone who knew the answer, and everyone expected you to--but you didn't. You showed up like someone who chooses their words carefully, and everyone expected you to--but you didn't. You showed up like someone who succeeds, and everyone expected you to--but you didn't.

I'm sure that these experiences of yours, like mine, were unpleasant. And I'm not suggesting that you should go out of your way to embarrass yourself or pretend to ignore the unpleasantness when it occurs. But embarrassment is a natural and even desirable aspect of social situations. As Goffman makes clear, "Embarrassment is not an irrational impulse breaking through socially prescribed behavior but part of this orderly behavior itself." [7] Further, embarrassment likely played an essential role in our evolutionary history, as noted by psychologist Christine Harris:

In the view of a number of theorists, embarrassment evolved to help undo the damage in situations where a person has unintentionally violated a social norm. The basic premise is that those who experienced and expressed distress over concerns with others' impressions of them were more likely to survive as reproductive members of the group than those who acted with disregard for others' opinions. Not caring about others' reactions might have led one to be ostracized or banished, perhaps even killed... Embarrassment likely evolved to regulate social behaviors in a way that aids the welfare of the person embarrassed. [8]

So our embarrassment is a signal that we've violated a norm by "projecting incompatible definitions" of ourselves in a given situation, and we've been given an opportunity to make things right. This has special significance for leaders, who don't merely make decisions and allocate resources, but also serve an essential symbolic function. [9] When you feel embarrassment as a leader, the others present are likely confused by the mixed messages they're receiving about you and uncertain how to respond. And at that moment, you have a choice to make: You can acknowledge and address your embarrassment, or you can pretend that nothing happened and everything's fine.

In almost all circumstances, if you act as if nothing has happened the others present will collude with your pretense, and you'll collectively enact what management theorist Chris Argyris calls a defense routine: "Whenever human beings are faced with any issue that contains significant embarrassment or threat, they act in ways that bypass, as best they can, the embarrassment or threat." [10] This isn't necessarily nefarious--it's an expression of empathy, as Argyris notes: "These defensive routines are rewarded by most organizational cultures, because the routines indicate a sense of caring and concern for people." [11]

But while the impulse to pretend that nothing has happened is understandable, it carries a cost: You may actually heighten your embarrassment and distress. You foster ambiguity and confusion about the situation. You allow "incompatible definitions" of yourself to persist, leaving others confused about who you really are. And you model a counter-productive response to unwelcome events--ignore them, suppress them, don't talk about them. Instead, by acknowledging and addressing your embarrassment, you simultaneously address all of these challenges:

1. You diminish your embarrassment and the resulting distress.

Recent neuroscience research provides an explanation for a powerful dynamic that we've all experienced: Talking about negative feelings lessens their intensity and makes them easier to manage. [12] As neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman has written, "Putting feelings into words activates a region of the brain that is capable of inhibiting various aspects of immediate experience, including affective distress." [13] This need not be a time-consuming or complex process--in some situations simply saying, "Whoops! That's embarrassing!" is sufficient.

2. You clarify the situation, restore consistency to your self-presentation, and reduce others' anxiety.

Functional social situations depend upon a set of norms, most of which are implicit and unspoken, as well a shared understanding of those norms among the participants. [14] An embarrassing incident involves a violation of a norm, and when you as a leader pretend not to be embarrassed--and others inevitably collude in that process--some important questions are raised but not answered: Are you aware that a norm has been violated? Do you care? If not, what norms are still in effect? How should we proceed? The inability to answer these questions can leave others uncertain and apprehensive.

In addition to rendering the overall situation ambiguous, an embarrassing event creates a degree of ambiguity about you, which is highly problematic when you're acting as a leader. And again, when you pretend not to be embarrassed important questions are raised and go unanswered: Are you aware that you're presenting multiple--and incompatible--versions of yourself? Does this matter to you? Which version is "real"? Who are you?

But when you acknowledge and address your embarrassment, you initiate what Goffman calls a "corrective process." You signal your awareness that a norm has been violated, and you unify your self-presentation, which in turn reduces everyone's anxiety and confusion. As Goffman notes:

The [embarrassed] person thus shows that he is thoroughly capable of taking the role of the others toward his activity, that he can still be used as a responsible participant in the ritual process, and that the rules of conduct which he appears to have broken are still sacred, real, and unweakened. An offensive act may arouse anxiety about the ritual code; the offender allays this anxiety by showing that both the code and he as an upholder of it are still in working order. [15]

3. You role model a productive response to unwelcome events.

One of the toughest challenges leaders face is creating a culture in which people are willing to be direct, speak candidly, and share bad news. Everyone says they want this, but in many organizations there are few incentives to actually do it--and lots of reasons not to. And here's where some leaders fail to appreciate that they're under a spotlight at all times and that their behavior will always have a greater impact than their rhetoric. As I've noted before,

Every action [leaders] take is scrutinized and measured against their statements--and any gaps between the two are observed carefully (and often held against them.) This derives from the symbolic role leaders play--they’re not simply individuals fulfilling a set of responsibilities. For better and for worse, we view leaders as embodiments of our organizations and institutions, and as a result we expect them to act in alignment with the culture they claim to represent. [16]

So every embarrassing moment you experience as a leader is an opportunity to impart a lesson--one way or another. I learned this first-hand during the decade that I facilitated groups in Stanford's "Interpersonal Dynamics" course. [17] As a fledgling facilitator I was anxious to appear competent, and when I inevitably made my first misstep in a new group I would keep quiet about it, hoping that no one would notice my inadequacies or my embarrassment.

What I failed to realize was that everyone noticed everything, including my silence, and that group members would reliably collude with the pretense. Eventually it dawned on me that instead of teaching people to be direct and speak candidly--one of the primary aims of the course--I was teaching them to stay silent to support the leader's ego. At that point I began to look forward to my first embarrassing moment in a new group, because I knew that if I could muster the will to approach it differently, to acknowledge my embarrassment, everyone would benefit, including myself. And by practicing when the stakes were low, I gained sufficient experience to be able to do the same in more fraught circumstances, with more to lose--and more to gain.

 


Footnotes

[1] Ignorance, Embarrassment and the Power of Not Knowing

[2] See the following:

[3] Dan Oestreich Interviews Me

[4] See the following:

[5] Embarrassment and Social Organization, page 264 (Erving Goffman, American Journal of Sociology, 1956).

Psychologists differ on the causes of embarrassment, and while I find Goffman's explanation useful others have been proposed. In Embarrassment: the State of Research (Current Psychological Reviews, 1981) psychologist Robert Edelmann identifies five more in addition to Goffman's: 1) "loss of poise or failure of social skill," 2) "a disagreement over the definition of the situation or a failure to agree on the roles played by those present," 3) "breaches of privacy involving invasions of personal space," 4) "being made the undeserving center of attention," and 5) "an empathic reaction or vicarious embarrassment...being embarrassed for someone else." [page 127]

Yet Goffman's definition seems to lie at the root of these other causes in one way or another. For example, we're embarrassed when we lose our poise because our actual self-presentation (someone who lacks poise) is incompatible with our intended self-presentation (someone who possesses poise). Regarding Edelmann's final cause, "vicarious embarrassment," it appears that we experience this feeling when someone else's actual self-presentation is at odds with what we assume to be their intended self-presentation, such as, Edelmann notes, "when watching an extremely bad comedian." [page 127]

Edelman offers a summary that is at least consistent with Goffman's explanation: "While it is possible to recognize six separate categories, it should be emphasized that a common thread runs through each: the transgression of a social rule, with resultant failure of self-presentation and the loss of self-esteem in the presence of others." [page 127, emphasis mine]

In Embarrassment: A Form of Social Pain (American Scientist, 2006), psychologist Christine Harris discusses two of the main theories regarding the cause of embarrassment that developed subsequent to Goffman--there are numerous others--and notes that there are distinct sub-types of embarrassment:

The social evaluation model, championed by Rowland S. Miller at Sam Houston State University and others, seems closest to ordinary intuition. According to this account, what lies at the root of embarrassment is the anticipation of negative evaluation by others. In short, we become embarrassed when we perceive that the social image we want to project has been undermined and that others are forming negative impressions of us...

The late John Sabini of the University of Pennsylvania and his colleagues proposed that embarrassment is likely to arise when a person anticipates a disruption of a smooth social interaction and faces a situation without a clear sense of the social expectations governing behavior. According to the awkward-interaction or dramaturgic account, it is not that the person is worried about making a bad impression per se, but rather that he or she does not know what to do next...

Recent research suggests that a single theory probably is not adequate to account for all incidents of embarrassment and that there are at least two, and perhaps three, somewhat distinct subtypes of embarrassment...faux-pas, center-of-attention, and sticky-situation embarrassment. [pages 524-525]

Again, Goffman's explanation seems relevant to most, if not all, of these situations. While subsequent research has clearly expanded our understanding of the various mechanisms, no other explanations seem to entirely displace Goffman's fundamental idea that embarrassment derives from situations in which we have "projected incompatible definitions" of ourselves.

[6] Embarrassment: the State of Research, page 132 (Robert Edelmann, Current Psychological Reviews, 1981)

[7] Goffman (1956), page 271.

[8] Embarrassment: A Form of Social Pain, pages 526, 533 (Christine Harris, American Scientist, 2006)

[9] For more on the symbolic aspects of leadership, see the following:

[10] Overcoming Organizational Defenses: Facilitating Organizational Learning, pages 25-27 (Chris Argyris, 1990)

[11] Ibid, page 29.

[12] Talking About Feelings

[13] Why Symbolic Processing of Affect Can Disrupt Negative Affect: Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Investigations, page 203 (Matthew Lieberman, Chapter 13 in Social Neuroscience: Toward Understanding the Underpinnings of the Social Mind, Alexander Todorov, Susan Fiske, and Deborah Prentice, editors, 2011)

[14] The impact of the implicit and unspoken norms that govern social situations is one of the core themes of Goffman's work. For more, see the following:

[15] Goffman (1955/1967/1982), pages 21-22.

[16] What Do Great Leaders Do?

[17] A Brief History of T-Groups

 

Photo by Pixabay.

The Warrior and the Sage

Warrior-and-Sage

1. Background

One of the most important contributions made by pioneering Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung is the concept of archetypes, which he described as "forms in the psyche which seem to be present always and everywhere... There are as many archetypes as there are typical situations in life... When a situation occurs which corresponds to a given archetype, that archetype becomes activated." [1]

In Jung's framework archetypes constitute the "collective unconscious," which English psychiatrist Anthony Stevens calls "a dynamic substratum, common to all humanity, on the basis of which each individual builds his or her own experience of life, developing a unique array of psychological characteristics. In other words, the archetypes of the collective unconscious [provide] the basic themes of human life on which each individual [works] out his or her own set of variations." [2]

Despite Jung's interest in mysticism and spirituality, we need not view archetypes and the collective unconscious as otherworldly phenomena at odds with modern science. They're more appropriately viewed as instinctive aspects of human psychology that may have an evolutionary basis, similar to such experiences as anxiety and grief. [3] Stevens cites comments by Jung specifying that an archetype "is not meant to to denote an inherited idea, but rather an inherited mode of psychic functioning, corresponding to the inborn way in which the chick emerges from the egg... In other words, it is a 'pattern of behavior.'" [4]

Some of the most intriguing evidence supporting Jung's concept is the recurrence of a set of archetypes in the mythology, folklore and religious traditions of different societies, not only around the world, but also at distant points in time, an idea explored thoroughly in the work of cultural scholar Joseph Campbell. [5] Psychiatrist Stevens notes that these themes and patterns include archetypal events--birth, death, separation from parents, marriage--as well as archetypal motifs--the apocalypse, the deluge, the creation. [6]

One such motif that occurs repeatedly in my work with leaders is "the Hero's Journey," which Campbell calls the "monomyth" because it appears in some form in every culture: A figure leaves home and ventures forth to do battle with powerful forces in the hopes of returning with a great prize. Not surprisingly, this concept resonates deeply with most of the startup founders I've known. [7] And yet another recurring theme in my practice involves what Stevens calls archetypal figures. He cites the examples of mother, father, child, God, trickster, and hero, but the two that appear most consistently in my practice are the Warrior and the Sage.

 

2. The Warrior and the Sage: Archetypes and Mindsets

We can think of archetypes as stories that help us interpret and navigate the world, and archetypal figures are the recurring characters that populate these stories. Further, an archetypal figure is itself a type of story--a story we tell ourselves about ourselves, a story that allows us to better understand ourselves and to locate ourselves in relation to others and to our circumstances. The archetypal figure provides us with an orientation--a stance from which we can approach a given situation--and a "pattern of behavior" that suits the situation's requirements.

The Warrior is one of the most prominent and potent archetypal figures, as demonstrated by the countless examples in myth and legend. Even if my clients don't consciously think of themselves as "Warriors," most of them have an extensive range of formative experiences and training that have resulted in what I call a "Warrior mindset"--see below. And the archetypal Warrior is by no means just a bare-knuckled brawler--here's one definition from the cross-cultural scholar Angeles Arrien:

The Warrior is the archetype of leadership. We come into our leadership skills by staying in our power, by showing up and choosing to be present, by extending honor and respect, and by being responsible and accountable. [8]

The Sage isn't merely a teacher, but a figure who has attained wisdom, strives to live in accordance with virtuous principles, and guides others in the process of doing the same. My clients would undoubtedly resist being called "Sages" for fear of sounding self-aggrandizing, and yet much of my work with them involves cultivating aspects of the "Sage mindset" below. And while I prefer the term "sage," derived from the Latin sapere, "to discern," there's clearly a close relationship with the role of teacher, as noted in Arrien's definition of the latter:

When we express the Teacher, we develop our capacities for detachment; we honor our heritage; we become flexible and fluid...and we demonstrate wisdom and its components of clarity, objectivity, and discernment. [9]

In my practice I've observed a set of attitudes that leaders display while enacting these roles--what I've come to consider the Warrior and Sage mindsets:

As a Warrior...

 

As a Sage...

My purpose is overcoming resistance. Life is a series of battles, and the most important are zero-sum struggles that must be won.

 

My purpose is learning and helping others learn. Life is a series of mysteries, and the most important can't be solved but must be studied.

My world is a battleground, an athletic field, a negotiating table. It's also, at intervals, a victory party, a hospital, a funeral.

 

My world is a classroom, a laboratory, a carnival. It's never just one of these things, and sometimes it's all of them at once.

I view others as fellow combatants. Some are allies, some are opponents, and sometimes they switch sides, which I must bear in mind.

 

I view others with curiosity, because I don't know who they really are. Even if they're my students, they may also be my teachers.

I view myself with rigor. I know my strengths and maximize their advantages. I know my weaknesses and keep them hidden.

 

I view myself with amusement. I've learned enough to realize how little I know, and I discover my wisdom when I embrace my ignorance.

My thoughts and feelings fuel my dedication. I maintain an open mind, but also strive to convey my passion and conviction.

 

My thoughts and feelings come and go, as thoughts and feelings do. I acknowledge their influence while holding them lightly.

My goals are of paramount importance, in part because others are depending on me to achieve them. I'm committed to success.

 

My goals are flexible, because I know I already have what I really need. I'm committed to a process without being attached to a given outcome.

 

3. From Warrior to Sage

In addition to observing these respective mindsets in many leaders, I've also seen a pattern emerge over time: The Warrior mindset becomes less useful as leaders grow more senior, and the Sage mindset becomes increasingly important. The leader who remains limited to the Warrior archetype without adding the Sage to their repertoire grows less and less effective. This doesn't mean that the Warrior mindset becomes useless--we all have to know how to fight. [10] But it's essential to anticipate this transition.

To be clear, while the Warrior and the Sage are distinct identities, they're by no means mutually exclusive. The goal is to be able to adopt the mindset that best fits the needs of the situation, which entails broadening one's skills as a leader and being able to move fluidly from one mindset to another. And while in my experience most leaders begin as Warriors and must grow into the Sage mindset over time, that's not the case for everyone--the Warrior mindset must also be cultivated.

But training as a Warrior is readily available, largely because many institutions find it advantageous to have a supply of Warriors on hand. Training as a Sage is hard to come by--and yet simply committing to a practice of regular reflection may be all we need in order to learn from experience. In that context, here are some specific areas to focus on:

Self-Awareness

Emotion Regulation

Power Dynamics

Leadership Style

 

4. A Personal Note

While my comments here are derived from my work with many leaders over the years, they're also informed by my personal growth and development. As a younger man I faced the world primarily as a Warrior--often a hapless one, but a Warrior all the same. As I grew older I came to realize not only that this way of being was inadequate in helping me achieve my goals, but also that the process of aging would inevitably render me less effective if I continued to rely solely upon this approach--and that I was missing an opportunity to take advantage of what I had gained along the way: perspective, discernment, gratitude. [11]

I certainly don't consider myself a Sage, nor can I maintain that mindset permanently, but I get there from time to time. And as I acknowledge the costs of growing older, I find some consolation in my ability to embrace and occupy that identity, albeit on a temporary basis. As I wrote a few years ago, "Today I'm weaker, more frail, slower to heal. I'm also wiser, kinder, braver. It's not lost on me that as my animal self has deteriorated I've become a much better human being." [12]

That doesn't preclude me from adopting a Warrior mindset when necessary--but that's a choice, not a reflex. And as time goes on I find that mindset not only less useful, but also less relevant. Sometimes it does feel important to win--but increasingly I find that when I really step back and think about it, I already have what I really need.

 


Footnotes

[1] Carl Jung, The Concept of the Collective Unconscious. A Lecture Delivered before the Analytical Psychology Club of New York City, October 2, 1936 (pages 42-48 in The Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious (Collected Works of C.G. Jung, Volume 9, Part 1), Second Edition, 1981). Jung didn't originate the concept of archetypes, and he readily acknowledged its historical origins in the works of Plato, among others, as well as contemporary parallels in anthropology and religious studies. That said, Jung's influence in this area has been substantial, and any discussion of the concept today owes a debt to his thinking.

[2] Anthony Stevens, "The Archetypes," page 75 (Chapter 3 in The Handbook of Jungian Psychology: Theory, Practice and Applications, Renos Papadopoulos, editor, 2006)

[3] For more on the influence of natural selection on emotional experience, see Good Reasons for Bad Feelings: Insights from the Frontier of Evolutionary Psychiatry (Randolph Nesse, 2020).

[4] Stevens, page 77.

[5] For a thorough discussion of the recurring themes and patterns in mythology, folklore and religious traditions, see The Hero with a Thousand Faces (Joseph Campbell, New World Library, Third Edition, 2008).

[6] Stevens, page 84.

[7] The Hero's Journey in Everyday Life

[8] The Four-Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer, and Visionary, page 40 (Angeles Arrien, 1993)

[9] Ibid, page 126.

[10] The Value of a Good Fight

[11] Gratitude Checklist

[12] Time and Tradition

 

For Further Reading

Adventure, Tragedy, Comedy

 

Photos: Sword by Auckland Museum. Brush and ink by Theen Moy.

Why Some Entrepreneurs Don't Know When to Quit

Everest by Rick McCharles rickmccharles 4180567369 EDIT

People mistakenly think it was the storm that caused the problem. It wasn't the storm that caused the problem; it was the time.

~Martin Adams, Mount Everest climber [1]

The sort of individual who is programmed to ignore personal distress and keep pushing for the top is frequently programmed to disregard signs of grave and imminent danger... In order to succeed you must be exceedingly driven, but if you're too driven you're likely to die.

~Jon Krakauer [2]

1. Introduction

In May 1996, eight people died on Mount Everest when they were caught in a storm as they descended from the summit. As professors of management Jeffery McMullen and Alexander Kier note, the avoidable disaster resulted from the unexpected decision by two expedition leaders to continue climbing when they should have abandoned their goal and turned back hours earlier:

In their pursuit of the summit both [Rob] Hall and [Scott] Fischer violated their turnaround times, which are optimal stopping points set to ensure that climbers have enough time to return to a point of safety before significant changes in the environment such as darkness or severe weather can occur. [3]

McMullen and Kier cite journalist Jon Krakauer, a climber on one of the expeditions who later wrote about his harrowing experience:

At Hall's suggestion, the two guides had agreed that "Anybody who wasn't within spitting distance of the summit by 2:00pm had to turn around and go down." But, adds Mountain Madness guide Neal Beidleman, "For whatever reason, it didn't happen..." Given Hall's conservative, exceedingly methodical nature, many of his colleagues have expressed puzzlement at this uncharacteristic lapse of judgment. [4]

Despite the unusual setting, McMullen and Kier believe the Everest disaster holds some important lessons for entrepreneurs, who, like expedition leaders, must decide at regular intervals whether or not to persist in a risky pursuit. While my clients aren't mountain climbers--at least not professionally--most of them are founder/CEOs, which means that they're also attempting something difficult that has a high likelihood of failure. You have to be an optimist to launch an entrepreneurial venture, and as I've written before, "there's a positive correlation between optimism and effective leadership, in part because the optimistic leader has a contagious effect on others, rendering success more likely." [5]

And yet the events on Everest tragically underscore a related concept that I've also noted previously: "There's a point at which unbridled confidence is merely a wish, and optimism becomes magical thinking, which can be particularly dangerous for a leader. Neuroscientist Richard Davidson notes that the risks of excessive optimism include resistance to negative data and failure to learn from experience." [6]

But why does this happen? Why did the experienced guides on Everest display such poor judgment? Why do some leaders persist in failing efforts past the point when they should quit?

 

2. Escalation of Commitment

The technical term for such behavior is "escalation of commitment," defined by McMullen and Kier as "the proclivity of decision makers to maintain commitment to a losing course of action, even in the face of quite negative news." [7] Behavioral psychologists Katy Milkman and Theresa Kelly provide further context on this phenomenon:

Escalation of commitment is a risk whenever a decision maker (a) commits resources to a course of action (thereby making an "investment") in the hope of achieving a positive outcome and (b) experiences disappointing results. Invested resources may take any form from time, money, and labor to mental and emotional energy... While there are many situations where the best course of action is to commit further resources to a failing investment, the term escalation of commitment describes only those situations where objective evidence indicates that continuing with an investment is unwise, and yet an individual chooses to invest further in spite of this. [8]

Research on escalation of commitment indicates that the primary cause is the powerful drive to maintain consistency between our past commitments and present behavior (and to appear consistent in the eyes of others), as well as the corresponding drive to minimize the cognitive dissonance we experience when our commitments and behavior are inconsistent (or are perceived as such by others.) [9] In psychologist Robert Cialdini's widely-cited work on influence, he identified this need for consistency as a "central motivator" of human behavior:

Once we have made a choice or taken a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment. Those pressures will cause us to respond in ways that justify our earlier decision... The drive to be (and to look) consistent constitutes a highly potent weapon of social influence, often causing us to act in ways that are clearly contrary to our own best interests... Once an active commitment is made, then, self-image is squeezed from both sides by consistency pressures. From the inside there is a pressure to bring self-image in line with action. From the outside, there is a sneakier pressure--a tendency to adjust this image according to the way others portray us. [10]

Milkman and Kelly expand upon the manifestations of our drive for consistency and related psychological factors that contribute to escalation of commitment:

Self-justification theory... Feeling personally responsible for an investment that turns sour intensifies the threat associated with failure and increases a decision maker's motivation to justify the original choice to herself. Negative feedback on a past investment decision calls the validity of the original decision into question and is dissonant with a decision maker's natural desire to see herself as competent. Many decision makers attempt to eliminate this conflict by convincing themselves that their failing ventures will turn around if they simply invest more resources. To do so and succeed would prove that their original choice was valid and eliminate the "cognitive dissonance" created by the initial negative feedback.

Confirmation bias. Biased information processing is one way that decision makers reduce the dissonance that arises when their positive self-perceptions conflict with evidence that past investments are under-performing. After committing to a choice, people are far more likely to notice and overweight evidence that supports their decision and ignore and underweight evidence that does not. Furthermore, decision makers actively seek information that confirms the validity of their decisions...

Loss aversion... Research on prospect theory has demonstrated the the disutility caused by losses is greater than the utility obtained from equivalent gains... Negative feedback on an investment frames the decision about whether to continue with the current course of action as a decision about whether to accept a loss or to take steps to prevent locking it in...

Impression management... A decision maker may escalate commitment to her original investment to avoid admitting to others that the venture was a failure or that her decision was flawed. Such admissions might cause others to doubt her competence. Further, people tend to punish decision makers for inconsistency. [11]

Entrepreneurs are as subject to these psychological drives and biases as anyone else, and yet a hallmark of entrepreneurship is a willingness not only to commit resources to risky ventures, but also to rapidly withdraw them when necessary. [12] The most effective entrepreneurs aren't heedless daredevils--they're keenly aware that they may need to abandon their immediate objectives in order to retain the ability to pursue their long-term vision. Elizabeth Holmes, the disgraced former Theranos CEO who was recently convicted of fraud and now faces up to 20 years in prison, once said, "The minute that you have a backup plan, you've admitted that you're not going to succeed." [13] But that's not entrepreneurship--that's merely empty rhetoric that leads directly to escalation of commitment.

So why might entrepreneurs in particular fall prey to this dynamic, and what conditions make that outcome more likely? Why do some entrepreneurs--typically known for their adaptability--find it so hard to quit? To answer these questions it's necessary to understand two psychological concepts that have significant implications for entrepreneurs.

 

3. Mindset Theory of Action Phases and Regulatory Focus Theory

The Mindset Theory of Action Phases, first developed by psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, suggests that in setting and pursuing a goal there are two fundamentally distinct ways of thinking, gathering data, and processing information ("mindsets"). [14] Up until the decision to pursue a goal has been made, while goal-setting, we adopt a deliberative mindset, but once a goal has been selected and we've decided to pursue it, we adopt an implemental mindset. Gollwitzer notes key distinctions between the two mindsets in the realms of "cognitive tuning" (i.e. the information we tend to focus on), the degree of bias imparted to the information under consideration, and "open-mindedness" (i.e. receptivity to new information):

3.1. Mindset Theory of Action Phases

  Deliberative Mindset
(Pre-Decision / Goal-Setting)
Implemental Mindset
(Post-Decision / Goal Pursuit)
Cognitive Tuning

Focus on whether a goal is feasible and desirable via pros vs. cons and cost-benefit analysis.

Focus on where, when and how to accomplish the goal.

Biases

Information related to the feasibility and desirability of a goal is analyzed impartially.

Accurate judgment of control.

Optimistic analysis that overestimates feasibility.

Chosen goal seen as more desirable.

Increased sense of control over events.

Open-Mindedness

Enhanced receptivity to all sources and types of information.

Avoids dismissing information prematurely.

More selective information processing.

Filters information based on relevance to the goal.

 

Regulatory Focus Theory, first developed by psychologist E. Tory Higgins, extends the basic "hedonic principle"--the idea that people approach pleasure and avoid pain. [15] Higgins suggests that there are two different types of motivation, which spring from two fundamental but distinct human needs: nurturance and security. When seeking nurturance we adopt a promotion focus, in which we strive to fulfill our aspirations and maximize accomplishments, but when seeking security we adopt a prevention focus, in which we strive to fulfill our responsibilities and maximize safety:

3.2. Regulatory Focus Theory

  Promotion Focus Prevention Focus
Contributing Factors

Nurturance needs.

A focus on ideals.

Gain vs. non-gain situations.

Security needs.

A focus on duties and obligations.

Loss vs. non-loss situations.

Consequences

Sensitivity to positive outcomes.

Approach as strategic means.

Insure against errors of omission.

Sensitivity to negative outcomes.

Avoidance as strategic means.

Insure against errors of commission.

 

A more specific body of research has explored the implications of these concepts for entrepreneurial behavior. Studying the Mindset Theory of Action Phases, professors of entrepreneurship Servane Delanoë-Gueguen and Alain Fayolle have found that aspiring founders experience a mindset shift that enhances their commitment to the venture:

[Founders] become committed to their start-up goal and engage in a set of goal-directed actions...with the objective of launching their business... At this point, individuals pass a psychological Rubicon and reach a level of commitment at which giving up their project becomes less likely. [16]

In another study, professors of entrepreneurship Matthew Lynch and Andrew Corbett suggest that successful entrepreneurs regularly move from one mindset to another, depending on the circumstances and their immediate needs:

The cognitive shift from [deliberative] to implementative [mindsets] and back...is an ongoing process inherent in entrepreneurial action, and continues as the entrepreneur evaluates the opportunity... This shift of orientation within the entrepreneurial mindset is critical as flexibility with these cognitive mechanisms is often the determinant between failure and growth of the venture. [17]

Similarly, Higgins, the originator of Regulatory Focus Theory, and professors of management Joel Brockner and Murray Low, propose that entrepreneurs must alternate between a promotion focus and a prevention focus at various stages of the venture's development:

Rather than suggesting that one regulatory focus orientation is more likely to be associated with entrepreneurial success than the other, we suggest that both promotion and prevention foci are necessary for entrepreneurial success. For certain aspects of the entrepreneurial process (e.g., generating ideas with the potential to be successful), greater promotion focus is necessary. For other aspects of the entrepreneurial process (e.g., doing the "due diligence" when screening ideas), greater prevention focus is necessary. [18]

To clarify, there's no single mode--deliberative or implemental mindset, promotion or prevention focus--that characterizes entrepreneurial behavior. Entrepreneurs move from one mindset to the other and from one focus to the other over the course of their journey--and the most successful entrepreneurs are able to make such moves repeatedly as the environment evolves and new information emerges.

But under certain conditions entrepreneurs can find it difficult to shift from one mode to another as needed--and this is what may have caused the 1996 Everest disaster. The events on the mountain vividly illustrate the potential consequences of escalation of commitment, and McMullen and Kier suggest that it occurred because the expedition guides found themselves stuck in an implemental mindset with a promotion focus--and that being trapped at the intersection of these modes poses a risk for every entrepreneur.

 

4. Escalation of Commitment and Entrepreneurship

McMullen and Kier's assessment of the joint influence of the Mindset Theory of Action Phases and Regulatory Focus Theory on entrepreneurial behavior portrays four quadrants, which they label "eager goal-setting," "cautious goal-setting," "eager goal pursuit," and "cautious goal pursuit." [19] They note that each quadrant is characterized by strengths and weaknesses--and the key weakness of "eager goal pursuit" is escalation of commitment:

4.1. Joint Influence on Entrepreneurial Behavior

  Promotion Focus Prevention Focus
Deliberative Mindset

Eager Goal-Setting:

Strength: Alert to opportunities to replace the goal.

Weakness: Sets unfeasible goals.

Cautious Goal-Setting:

Strength: Careful planning.

Weakness: Difficulty getting started.

Implemental Mindset

Eager Goal Pursuit:

Strength: Alert to opportunities to achieve the maximal goal.

Weakness: Escalation of commitment

Cautious Goal Pursuit:

Strength: Vigilant to threats to the minimal goal and avoids unnecessary risks.

Weakness: Over-cautious.

 

So while the adoption of an implemental mindset and a promotion focus enables an entrepreneur to remain undaunted by obstacles and persist in the face of long odds, it also increases the likelihood of escalation of commitment. The distinguishing factor, McMullen and Kier suggest, is what psychologists Veronika Brandstätter and Julia Schüler call an "action crisis," defined as the "phase of goal striving when setbacks have accumulated and failures in making progress towards one's goal are becoming highly visible...the phase in which the individual has already invested a great deal into his/her goal, encounters recurring difficulties, and finally is caught between further goal pursuit and disengagement." [20]

While an action crisis is an unpleasant experience for an entrepreneur, it serves an essential purpose by compelling them to assess the viability of their venture in the current environment. Research by Brandstätter and Schüler shows that people experiencing an action crisis return to a deliberative mindset, triggering a cost-benefit analysis that shifts the emphasis from how to accomplish their goal back to whether the goal should be pursued at all. [21]

But the challenge for the entrepreneur, according to McMullen and Kier, is that the adoption of an implemental mindset and a promotion focus is likely to forestall the onset of an action crisis. As a result they remain stuck in "eager goal pursuit," and this is what leads to escalation of commitment. What does this look like in practice? McMullen and Kier discuss four contributing factors:

Lack of Contingency Planning

Exit strategies prepare the entrepreneur for appropriate disengagement from goal pursuit, and thus minimize any future losses from a delayed reaction to environmental changes. However, the proactive behavior of planning for negative contingencies is practically eliminated by [eager goal pursuit.] By emphasizing the opportunities as opposed to the threats hidden by uncertainty, [eager goal pursuit] foregoes contingency planning, allocates attention toward efforts to avoid missed opportunities, and ensures that the entrepreneur responds to any opportunities revealed in the future by a changing environment. This can lead potentially negative outcomes to be overlooked and contingency plans to be ignored for best-case scenarios. [22]

Insufficient Risk Monitoring

Entrepreneurs commit to a particular goal assuming a certain level of risk exposure... However...entrepreneurs can find their assumptions violated by unanticipated negative changes in the environment... Upon recognition of these negative changes, an action crisis emerges in which the entrepreneur must evaluate whether the expected return is worth the increased risk exposure. Before such a decision can be made, however, one must become aware of the need to make it. Unfortunately, this awareness is delayed by the implemental mindset's allocation of attention toward volitional concerns [i.e. how to accomplish the goal] and away from motivational concerns [i.e. whether to accomplish the goal] caused by these unanticipated negative changes in the environment... Thus, forgoing contingency planning is likely to delay an action crisis because of increasing, but unmonitored, risk exposure from a deteriorating environment. [23]

Delayed Negative Feedback

An uncompleted goal prevents production costs from being treated as sunk because they are mentally categorized as investments rather than expenses until evidence overwhelmingly disconfirms the likelihood that they will produce the expected return... If commitment grows with time spent in goal striving, then anything that delays awareness of negative feedback is likely to encourage escalation. For example, sunk costs and time invested are costs of abandonment that grow from delay, further increasing the desirability of outcome attainment for decision makers who do not want to appear wasteful. Additionally, experience is likely to increase over time, making the entrepreneur more likely to believe that he or she can overcome negative feedback and succeed, thereby increasing the likelihood of escalation. [24]

Gain-Loss vs. Net Wealth Framing

Upon having an action crisis, cautious goal strivers are more capable than eager goal strivers of reclassifying the costs of goal pursuit from unrealized to realized losses because their cautious goal striving encourages the use of a net wealth frame used in decision-making as opposed to the gain-loss frame encouraged by eager striving. A gain-loss frame emphasizes what is lost if the entrepreneur fails to achieve the desired outcome... In contrast, a net wealth frame considers these costs in the context of what might also be lost in the entrepreneur is wrong in his decision to consider goal pursuit both in the moment...and over time. [25]

 

5. What Can Entrepreneurs Do?

The fundamental dilemma for any entrepreneur is that their propensity for "eager goal pursuit" is both a source of strength and a potential weakness. The very attitude that will enable them to resist the urge to give up when the going gets tough may also lead them into an unstoppable escalation of commitment. The dogged pursuit of their immediate objectives may then result in catastrophic losses that preclude them from finding alternative means of achieving their overarching vision.

Sadly, this is what happened to Rob Hall and Scott Fischer on Mount Everest in 1996. Presumably caught in the grip of "eager goal pursuit," they ignored or downplayed the deteriorating weather conditions, remained determined to lead their expeditions to the summit on May 10, and ultimately ignored their turnaround time. Among the most experienced mountaineers in the world, both men died in a storm described by Jon Krakauer as "nothing extraordinary; it was a fairly typical Everest squall. If it had hit two hours later, it's likely nobody would have died." [26]

So if you're an entrepreneur pursuing an ambitious, high-risk venture, what can you do to avoid escalation of commitment? How might you capitalize on your capacity for "eager goal pursuit" while minimizing the possibility that you won't know when to quit? There's no single solution, but the research under discussion here and my work with founder/CEOs over the years suggest a number of potential steps:

Assess the Situation

All entrepreneurs can be subject to escalation of commitment, but certain situational factors can heighten the risk, as highlighted by psychologists Milkman and Kelly [27]:

  • Personal responsibility. "An individual is more likely to commit additional resources to a bad investment if she was the one who originally endorsed it." To what extent do you feel personally responsible for the selection, pursuit and achievement of this goal?
  • Sunk costs. "The more resources that have been spent on an investment, the more likely a decision maker is to escalate commitment." What costs--not only time, money, and labor, but also mental and emotional energy--have you invested in this goal?
  • Proximity to completion. "The closer a project is to completion, the more likely decision makers are to exhibit escalation of commitment." How long have you been pursuing this goal? How close do you think you are to completion?
  • Exogenous explanations for failure. "Escalation of commitment is also more pronounced when past investment failures can be blamed on unforeseeable, exogenous events... Any opportunity to blame a setback on an exogenous source helps a decision maker maintain his positive self-concept and the belief that his original decision was valid, increasing the risk of escalation of commitment." What unforeseen events have affected your venture? To what extent do you hold them responsible for the challenges you currently face?

Expand Your Self-Awareness

While an implemental mindset and a promotion focus may increase your determination to pursue your goals, one of the means by which this occurs is through a systematic distortion of the information you pay attention to, the information you ignore, and how you interpret that data. Greater self-awareness in the following areas can help you determine whether the specific distortions you're experiencing are a competitive advantage--or a source of danger:

  • Attention management. A theme in my practice is that a leader's attention is their most precious resource--and yet it's both hard to direct and easy to waste, particularly when we're anxious or under stress. What observations can you make about where your attention is being directed, and why?
  • How you think. As I've noted before, "leaders generally need longer blocks of uninterrupted time, free from distractions, to think creatively and to augment logical reasoning with intuition and inspiration." What do you know about the conditions that enable--and detract from--your ability to do your best thinking?
  • Decision-making. Physician and psychologist Pat Croskerry has highlighted a range of factors that enable us to make better decisions. [28] How well do you understand the factors that help--and hinder--effective decision-making for you?
  • Cognitive biases. The distortions induced by "eager goal pursuit" are a form of cognitive bias, a type of mental shortcut that we employ when problem-solving. What biases and heuristics can you identify in your own thinking?

Plan Ahead (and Embrace the Action Crisis)

As McMullen and Kier note, escalation of commitment occurs not at a single moment, but over the course of an extended period of time and is a consequence not of a single act (or a momentary failure to act), but of a series of steps that build upon each other:

The groundwork for escalation is often established long before the actual decision is made... Whether a decision to disengage or persist is made (cost-benefit analysis), depends on when that decision is made--i.e. how early a threat is detected (risk assessment)--which in turn depends on how that decision is made--by predetermined rules or in situ (contingency planning)--which ultimately depends on what information is cognitively accessible to the decision maker (the mindsets employed to manage environmental uncertainty). [29]

Assessing the situation and expanding your self-awareness are best undertaken well before they become necessary, but they remain useful at any point in the journey. And yet it's important to realize that the cumulative impact of a failure to engage in these efforts early on may be to delay an "action crisis"--that crucial juncture when "setbacks have accumulated and failures in making progress towards [your] goal [have become] highly visible." As noted previously, the value of this all-too-painful moment is that it shifts you out of "eager goal pursuit," causing you to stop asking how to achieve your goal, and compels you to ask whether you should continue. In addition to the steps above, you can prevent the deferral of an action crisis via the following:

  • Slow down. A theme in my practice is the idea that "The impulse to hurry should often be interpreted as a signal to slow down"--and yet note that the state of "eager goal pursuit" can leave us feeling frantically behind, exacerbating the tendency to rush headlong toward the goal. What regular routines or habitual practices compel you to slow down and take stock?
  • Seek out objective viewpoints. As Andy Grove, the CEO of Intel, once wrote, "People who have no emotional stake in a decision can see what needs to be done sooner." [30] Do you have trusted advisors who are invested in your personal well-being without being attached to the venture's success or failure?
  • Prepare for cognitive dissonance. As I've noted before, entrepreneurs often experience cognitive dissonance because they must maintain "two very different views of the world... They must be exuberant optimists, portraying a compelling vision of a successful future... [And they] must also be keenly aware of the nearly endless list of risk factors and things that could go wrong." What helps you manage the uncomfortable feelings that result from this dissonant state?
  • Learn from failure. Yet another theme in my practice is the inevitability of failure, in entrepreneurship and in life, which presents all of us with the same challenge: "See our failures clearly and acknowledge our contributions to the outcome. Study them closely to ensure we don't repeat the same mistakes. And remain sufficiently resilient to keep trying, sometimes over a period of years, while also knowing when to quit and abandon efforts that are unlikely to yield results." In what ways might you put these ideas into practice?

If you're an entrepreneur wrestling with the profoundly difficult question of whether or not to continue on the path, I truly wish you the best.

 


Footnotes

[1] The Climb: Tragic Ambitions on Everest, page 261 (Anatoli Boukreev and G. Weston DeWalt, 1997)

[2] Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster, page 233 (Jon Krakauer, 1997)

[3] Trapped by the Entrepreneurial Mindset: Opportunity Seeking and the Escalation of Commitment in the Mount Everest Disaster, page 667 (Jeffery McMullen and Alexander Kier, Journal of Business Venturing, 2016). Thanks to Ethan Mollick for the reference to this compelling paper.

[4] Krakauer, pages 261 and 273.

[5] The Traps We Set for Ourselves. For more on optimism and leadership, see Dispositional Affect and Leadership Effectiveness: A Comparison of Self-Esteem, Optimism, and Efficacy (Martin Chemers, Carl Watson, and Stephen May, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2000) and Impact of Leadership Style and Emotion on Subordinate Performance (Janet McColl-Kennedy and Ronald Anderson, The Leadership Quarterly, 2002).

[6] Ibid. For more on the psychological consequences of excessive optimism, see The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel, and Live--and How You Can Change Them (Richard Davidson and Sharon Begley, 2012)

[7] McMullen and Kier, page 664.

[8] Escalation of Commitment (Katherine Milkman and Theresa Kelly), pages 256-259 in the Encyclopedia of Management Theory (Eric Kessler, editor, 2013)

[9] For more on escalation of commitment, in addition to the McMullen & Kier and Milkman & Kelly papers cited above see Knee-deep in the Big Muddy: A Study of Escalating Commitment to a Chosen Course of Action (Barry Staw, Organizational Behavior and Human Performance, 1976), The Escalation of Commitment to a Course of Action (Barry Staw, The Academy of Management Review, 1981), and Escalation of Commitment in Individual and Group Decision Making (Max Bazerman, et al, Organizational Behavior and Human Performance, 1984)

[10] Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, pages 57-77 (Robert Cialdini, 2006, 2nd edition)

[11] Milkman and Kelly.

[12] "A Perspective on Entrepreneurship," page 9 (Howard Stevenson, Chapter 1 in New Business Ventures and the Entrepreneur, 1998, 5th edition)

[13] Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes: 'Avoid Backup Plans' (Deborah Petersen, Inc., 2015)

[14] Mindset Theory of Action Phases (Peter Gollwitzer, Chapter 25 in Handbook of Theories of Social Psychology, Volume One, Paul van Lange, Arie Kruglanski and E. Tory Higgins, editors, 2012). Also see Action Phases and Mind-Sets (Peter Gollwitzer, Chapter 2 in Handbook of Motivation and Cognition: Foundations of Social Behavior, Volume Two, E. Tory Higgins and Richard Sorrentino, editors, 1990)

[15] Beyond Pleasure and Pain (E. Tory Higgins, American Psychologist, 1997). Also see Promotion and Prevention: Regulatory Focus as a Motivational Principle (E. Tory Higgins, Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 1998)

[16] Crossing the Entrepreneurial Rubicon: A Longitudinal Investigation, pages 1058-1059 (Servane Delanoë-Gueguen and Alain Fayolle, Journal of Small Business Management, 2019)

[17] Entrepreneurial mindset shift and the role of cycles of learning, page 11 (Matthew Lynch and Andrew Corbett, Journal of Small Business Management, 2021)

[18] Regulatory focus theory and the entrepreneurial process, page 203 (Joel Brockner, E. Tory Higgins and Murray Low, Journal of Business Venturing, 2004)

[19] McMullen and Kier, page 672.

[20] Action crisis and cost-benefit thinking: A cognitive analysis of a goal-disengagement phase, page 544 (Veronika Brandstätter and Julia Schüler, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2012)

[21] Ibid, page 550.

[22] McMullen and Kier, page 677.

[23] Ibid, pages 678-679.

[24] Ibid, page 679.

[25] Ibid.

[26] Krakauer, page 354.

[27] Milkman and Kelly, pages 257-258.

[28] The theory and practice of clinical decision-making (Pat Croskerry, Canadian Journal of Anesthesia, 2005)

[29] McMullen and Kier, pages 677, 679.

[30] Only the Paranoid Survive, page 92 (Andy Grove, 1996)

 

For Further Reading

To expand your self-awareness:

To prepare for and embrace the action crisis:

 

Photo by Rick McCharles.

Newbie Goggles

Goggles by Thomas Hawk thomashawk 14415289095 EDIT

Although most of my clients are leaders in professional roles that they expect to hold for the foreseeable future, it's not uncommon for me to work with someone as they navigate a transition and join a new organization. In that context it's often useful to remind my client they possess a uniquely valuable asset that will eventually disappear: newbie goggles.

For most of us, most of the time, the various cultures that surround us are nearly undetectable. Behavioral norms, ways of working and communicating, the explanatory narratives that help us interpret and make sense of the world--these are generally taken for granted and rarely subject to interrogation and analysis. We're like fish in water, as the late writer David Foster Wallace once remarked:

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, "Morning, boys, how's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, "What the hell is water?" [1]

But when we're in a new role, in a new environment--even one that we've opted into because we believe it to be compatible with our needs and values--we are the proverbial fish out of water. Because we haven't fully internalized the surrounding culture, we don't yet take it for granted. Because we're wearing newbie goggles, we can suddenly see it in ways that the current members cannot.

In most cases, we'll join them shortly, and that's a good thing. The new member--and especially the new leader--who's unable to integrate with a new culture rarely gains sufficient traction to be effective, as management professors Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones note:

Leaders must conform enough if they are to make the connections necessary to deliver change. Leaders who succeed in changing organizations challenge the norms--but rarely all of them, all at once... To change an organization, the leader must first gain at least minimal acceptance as a member. [2]

And in the process our newbie goggles inevitably lose their efficacy. As we adopt the norms and narratives of the surrounding culture, and as they lose their novelty and become familiar to us, we can no longer see them and hold them up for examination. Instead, we absorb them and exist within them. What the hell is water, indeed.

So if you've recently embarked upon a new professional role or entered a new environment that you hope to occupy long-term, note that whenever something seems strange or different to you, that's a precious opportunity that won't last forever. Your newbie goggles are in working order, allowing you to see things that the people around you probably can't.

The key is determining what to do with these observations, even--and especially--if your intention isn't merely to integrate with this new culture but to improve it. You may have been invited to join this organization for the express purpose of serving as a change agent, bringing new skills and expertise to bear on a culture in need of evolution. And even then, when your newbie goggles detect something that catches your attention, I suspect you'll be most effective by saying, "How interesting! Please tell me more about this."

 


Footnotes

[1] This Is Water (David Foster Wallace, 2005)

[2] Why Should Anyone Be Led By You?, pages 109-110 (Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones, 2006 / 2nd edition 2015)

 

For Further Reading

Why Change Is Hard

Hammering Eggs (Leadership and Problem-Solving)

Who Needs to Know? How Will They Feel? (On Change)

Conform to the Culture Just Enough

 

Photo by Thomas Hawk.

Mind the Gap (On Leading Senior Executives)

Mind the Gap by Ged Carroll renaissancechambara 6027225758 EDIT

A theme in my practice is the CEO who's leading senior executives for the first time. This often occurs with a founder whose company has grown dramatically or has recently raised a significant round of funding. While some of their early-stage leaders will make the leap, others will need to be levelled in order to bring in senior executives whose talents and capabilities will better support sustained growth and successful operations at scale. [1]

In many cases these executives know more about their function than the CEO, they have more experience than the CEO, and they may well be better at their jobs than the CEO. It's not uncommon for these CEOs to ask themselves, "How do I add value here?" It's possible for a less-experienced CEO to get in the way of their senior leaders--but more typically I see the opposite problem. The CEO gives their executives a great deal of space, only to find several months or quarters later that they backed off too far, and some important objectives were neglected and fell into the gap.

So if you're a CEO in this position, how should you think about leading senior executives? How do you add value here? In my experience there are three areas where CEOs inadvertently create gaps--and there are steps you can take to minimize them or prevent them from developing in the first place. (And although in this essay I focus on CEOs and their executive team, many of the issues I address are relevant to any senior leader and their direct reports.)

1. Accountability

Senior executives require a great deal of autonomy, and this may entail a shift in perspective as CEO, particularly if you're used to working with direct reports who are less experienced, more deferential, and more dependent on you for tactical direction. The great management thinker Peter Drucker coined the term "knowledge worker" [2], and later discussed what they require from leaders:

Knowledge workers are not subordinates; they are "associates." For, once beyond the apprentice stage, knowledge workers must know more about their job than their boss does--or else they are no good at all. In fact, that they know more about their job than anybody else in the organization is part of the definition of knowledge workers... To be sure, these associates are "subordinates" in that they depend on the "boss" when it comes to being hired or fired, promoted, appraised and so on. But in his or her own job the superior can perform only if these so-called subordinates take responsibility for educating him or her... Increasingly "employees" have to be managed as "partners"--and it is the definition of a partnership that all partners are equal. It is also the definition of a partnership that partners cannot be ordered. They have to be persuaded. [3]

Most of your employees are already knowledge workers, of course, but Drucker's definition clarifies just what senior executives will expect from you as CEO: Acknowledgment of their expertise. A sense of partnership. Persuasion, not orders. And yet note that it's easy to create a gap when putting these ideas into practice in your working relationships with with executives.

When Drucker began formulating these concepts in the mid-20th century, he and other innovative thinkers like Douglas McGregor [4] were exploring alternatives to the authoritarian, command-and-control style of management that prevailed at the time. McGregor's "Theory Y"--which "emphasizes the average person’s intrinsic interest in his [sic] work, his desire to be self-directing and to seek responsibility, and his capacity to be creative in solving business problems"--stood in stark contrast to the then-dominant "Theory X," which "assumes that people dislike work and must be coerced, controlled, and directed toward organizational goals." [5]

And although the "Theory X" approach persists in some industries and certain parts of the world, in environments like my clients' organizations--and very likely in yours--the pendulum has swung far in the opposite direction. Today organizations that employ knowledge workers have absorbed the ideas of Drucker and McGregor to such a great extent that they're taken for granted.

This sea change in management philosophy has generally been for the better, but there have also been some undesirable side-effects. One is the extreme pressure many contemporary leaders feel to avoid being accused of "micromanagement"--a concern that can be heightened with senior executives, who've been hired on the basis of their expertise and expect to have substantial authority in their function.

As a consequence, some CEOs go to such lengths to avoid "micromanaging" senior executives that they essentially provide no management at all. This isn't how these CEOs would describe their actions. Their stated intent is to pursue the guidance prescribed by Drucker and McGregor--they want to "give people room" and "stay out of the weeds." But in effect they're merely hoping that an executive will succeed entirely on their own initiative. Occasionally this works--but when it doesn't, the process of replacing an under-performing leader can be costly and painful. [6]

The key is recognizing that as CEO you must afford senior executives sufficient latitude to make use of their expertise, while also ensuring that they're held accountable for achieving agreed-upon objectives so that you can assess their performance. What helps in this process?

  • Clarity: The addition of a senior executive to your leadership team may affect everyone's responsibilities (including yours), so ensure that there's sufficient role clarity, not only when crafting their job description, but also on an ongoing basis. It's also necessary to clarify how decisions will be made in this new configuration before the inevitable power struggles become rancorous.
  • Feedback: Don't wait for performance reviews--make feedback normal. Given that senior executives are likely to have worked with experienced CEOs in prior roles, be sure to solicit feedback as well as provide it. The setting for these conversations should be consistent one-on-ones--get them on the calendar, don't cancel them, and let your executives set the agenda. While you may need to improve your ability to deliver critical feedback, if expectations aren't met merely expressing disappointment can be a useful starting point.
  • Empathy: As I've written before, "One of the reasons many leaders believe they can either hold people accountable or empathize with them is a misunderstanding of what is meant by 'accountability.' We often assume it entails a combative stance in an antagonistic interaction, with the goal of enforcing compliance--but that's not holding someone accountable, that's bullying them." The goal is to create a high-accountability, high-empathy culture in which "a shared sense of mission, strong feelings of ownership and responsibility, and relationships built on mutual trust and respect contribute to superior organizational results."

 


2. Motivation

Senior executives with a sustained record of success bring a host of assets with them. They know how to do the job, they understand the industry, and they have a network of former employees who will be inclined to follow them into their new role. This makes them appealing candidates for an organization that's striving to improve performance at scale, but it also affords them a wide range of options and increases their opportunity cost.

As a consequence, they often have particular needs that must be met, not only to induce them to accept an offer, but also to ensure their continued motivation--and to fend off demotivation. The work of psychologist Frederick Herzberg on motivation is relevant here. Herzberg's thesis is that job satisfaction and dissatisfaction aren't endpoints on a single spectrum, but are two distinct scales. His research suggests that certain aspects of a job (called "intrinsic motivators") have greater potential to generate satisfaction, while other aspects (called "hygiene factors" or "extrinsic motivators") are more likely to generate dissatisfaction if they're perceived as inadequate or problematic:

The factors involved in producing job satisfaction (and motivation) are separate and distinct from the factors that lead to job dissatisfaction... These two feelings are not opposites of each other. The opposite of job satisfaction is not job dissatisfaction but, rather, no job satisfaction; and similarly, the opposite of job dissatisfaction is not job satisfaction, but no job dissatisfaction...

Two different needs of human beings are involved here. One set of needs can be thought of as stemming from humankind's animal nature--the built-in drive to avoid pain from the environment, plus all the learned drives that become conditioned to the basic biological needs. For example, hunger, a basic biological drive, makes it necessary to earn money, and then money becomes a specific drive. The other set of needs relates to that unique human characteristic, the ability to achieve and, through achievement, to experience psychological growth...

The growth or motivator factors that are intrinsic to the job are: achievement, recognition for achievement, the work itself, responsibility, and growth or advancement. The dissatisfaction-avoidance or hygiene factors that are extrinsic to the job include: company policy and administration, supervision, interpersonal relationships, working conditions, salary, status, and security. [7]

These findings offer some useful guidance to help you understand and influence your executives' motivation. Where do gaps typically emerge and what can you do to help close them?

  • Intrinsic motivators: CEOs create a gap here by imagining that senior executives are immune to the appeal of these factors. Everyone's needs differ--see below--but even highly experienced leaders can derive substantial satisfaction from a sense of achievement, recognition for those achievements, and opportunities for growth and advancement. It takes some creative thinking to design these factors into a more senior role, but a strategic People leader can help--and some well-timed celebrations can go a long way.
  • Extrinsic motivators: Senior executives command hefty compensation packages, but it's a mistake to assume that someone will remain satisfied with their comp, no matter how far you may have initially stretched to accommodate their requirements. Again, individual needs will differ, but the psychological process of hedonic adaptation means that we inevitably take improvements for granted--this is why salary and status are "hygiene factors" in Herzberg's framework. Even the most substantial increases eventually lose their ability to motivate, and the resulting gap between reality and expectations can be a major source of dissatisfaction. To be clear, I'm not suggesting that you simply defer to executives' wishes to keep them happy--that quickly becomes unsustainable. So be prepared to negotiate with them not only upon extending an offer, but also at regular intervals thereafter.
  • Individual variation: It's essential to have clarity on what each of your executives values most and the extent to which their needs are being met today. There are many reasons why a CEO shouldn't have too many direct reports, but this is among the most important. If you're managing too many executives, it's easy to lose touch with what motivates them as individuals and their respective levels of fulfillment and satisfaction. You may have to close that gap by shrinking or formalizing your executive team.

 


3. Team Dynamics

The arrival of senior executives has a powerful effect on the leadership team as a whole. In most cases a new executive is replacing an early-stage leader who's no longer a member of the team, and even if the transition was made with the prior leader's assent the reconstituted team will need time to gel. (This may take even longer if the prior leader was terminated or unwillingly levelled.) In this process, senior executives can be disruptive presences, both for better and for worse. They can role model higher standards of professionalism, offer new approaches to problem-solving, and inspire colleagues to improve their own performance.

But this heightened sense of competition can also have a shadow side. Senior executives may be the first to hold VP or C-level titles, which can raise expectations for title advancement among other members of the team--some merited, others not. Although compensation details are held in confidence in most organizations, it's common for some of this information to leak or to be inferred, potentially causing resentment among longer-tenured leaders who earn less than the newer executives. Senior executives are usually driven people with high expectations for their peers' performance, which can cause impatience and friction if their colleagues aren't operating at the same level. And early-stage leaders who feel anxious about their ability to keep pace with the organization's growth may not feel inspired but threatened, resulting in turf wars and conflicts over scope.

In parallel with these developments there's usually an evolution in the team's culture--again, for better and at times for worse. Some early-stage leadership teams include members who compensate for a lack of experience or limited capabilities with a deep devotion to the mission and a commitment to company values--and when their contributions no longer make up for their deficits, these leaders are often the first to be replaced by senior executives. The resulting group is comprised of higher-performing individuals, but the members may feel less connected and function less like a team.

And many early-stage teams are "ethical pirates," in LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman's term. [8] Without acting immorally, they eagerly break rules and ignore established procedures in order to get the job done--this yields innovation, but may not scale (and if it does scale, it can create incentives for unethical behavior.) Senior executives are often hired because they bring with them a set of established procedures that will presumably be more effective at scale. But this can trigger a culture clash between early-stage leaders who view senior executives as stifling bureaucrats, while the latter view the former as undisciplined amateurs.

To return to the question above that I've heard many CEOs ask as they're assembling a team of senior executives--"How do I add value here?"--this is the context in which you can add a tremendous amount of value by addressing the gaps that can all too readily emerge on your leadership team:

  • Evolving norms: The arrival of senior executives is both the result and the cause of larger changes in the organization, and this will be reflected in new team norms--the informal practices that members feel obligated to follow, deriving from shared beliefs about productive behavior. In the absence of a process that identifies desirable norms, makes them explicit, and reinforces them consistently, groups often experience a gap between their stated intentions and their actual behavior, because rules aren't norms. More specifically, note the importance of norms related to emotional awareness and regulation, which affect a team's sense of trust, identity and efficacy.
  • Cultural integration: Team norms are just one manifestation of organizational culture, and senior executives usually bring with them a set of cultural practices that early-stage leaders will perceive as different or even alien. This may be one of the reasons that a senior executive was hired in the first place, but even in that case it's essential to close the gap between cultures through a process of integration. New executives must conform to the old culture just enough to gain credibility as change agents. Returning to Hoffman's management metaphor, "startup pirates" must be induced to "join the navy."
  • Functional rivalries: At times senior executives have the ability to put the interests of the entire organization ahead of their personal preferences. But even the most collaborative will on occasion prioritize the needs of their direct reports and their function, and they may view other functions as rivals, if not antagonists. A degree of cross-functional rivalry is healthy, but when the gap between functions grows too wide it's counter-productive and wasteful. The key is fostering a collective identity that transcends individual functions and encompasses the entire organization.

 


Footnotes

[1] The Fine Art of Levelling

[2] The Effective Executive (Peter Drucker, 1967)

[3] "Management's New Paradigms" (1998) in Management Challenges for the 21st Century, pages 17-22 (Peter Drucker, 2001)

[4] For more on Douglas McGregor, see Leadership and Motivation: The Essays of Douglas McGregor (1966)

[5] Beyond Theory Y (John Morse and Jay Lorsch, Harvard Business Review, 1970)

[6] For more on managing terminations:

[7] One More Time: How Do You Motivate Employees? (Frederick Herzberg, Harvard Business Review, originally published 1968, republished 2003)

[8] Uber Needs to Transition from "Pirate" to "Navy" (Reid Hoffman, LinkedIn, 2017)

 

For Further Reading

1. Accountability

2. Motivation

3. Team Dynamics

 

Photo by Ged Carroll.

Compasses and Weathervanes (30 Questions for Leaders)

Compass-Weathervane

Compasses point true north and help us stay on our chosen path, no matter what's happening around us. They're not disrupted by environmental changes--but they can't tell us anything about those changes, and sometimes that's important information. Weathervanes are buffeted by the wind, turning to and fro and occasionally spinning in circles. They can't guide us to a destination, but they can tell us a lot about how difficult the trip might be, what we might encounter along the way, and if we should be traveling at all.

The compass is a popular metaphor for leadership--we value its steadfastness and reliability, and we want our leaders to exhibit those same qualities. The weathervane sometimes symbolizes bad leadership--we're skeptical of leaders who are too easily swayed and seem to lack conviction. But the most effective leaders integrate aspects of both: They have a clearly defined perspective, a set of values they strive to uphold, and the courage to make hard choices and unpopular decisions. But they're also aware of prevailing sentiments in their environment, open to alternative points of view, and able to adapt when necessary.

So the question isn't "What kind of leader should I be?" but rather "What kind of leadership is called for at this moment--and am I capable of summoning it?"

Perspective

  1. What are the most important issues I face as a leader?
  2. What are the most important issues we face as an organization?
  3. What do I think should be done?
  4. How well do my colleagues understand my point of view?
  5. When I've been misunderstood, how have I contributed to the misunderstanding?

Values

  1. What do I stand for as a leader?
  2. How clearly have I articulated these values to others?
  3. How accurately could my colleagues describe my values if necessary?
  4. How do my values guide my behavior and influence my decisions?
  5. The last time a value became a disadvantage, what sacrifices did I make to uphold it?

Courage

  1. How do I determine "the right thing to do" in a given situation?
  2. What role does the opinion of others play in this process?
  3. What happens when I encounter resistance from a powerful figure?
  4. What happens when I encounter resistance from a crowd?
  5. The last time I had to stand alone, what did I do?

Awareness

  1. How do I learn what people around me are thinking and feeling?
  2. How often do I update this data?
  3. How often am I surprised by what I learn?
  4. Do people volunteer their views to me, or do I have to solicit them?
  5. If I have to solicit someone's views, how might I be making them reluctant to volunteer?

Openness

  1. How often do I hear points of view that differ from my own?
  2. How direct and candid are people when they disagree with me?
  3. How do I respond to them when that happens?
  4. How would the people who disagree with me characterize these interactions?
  5. When did someone last disagree with me in public?

Adaptability

  1. How do I know when a change is needed?
  2. How do I know when a change is overdue?
  3. When I've resisted an overdue change, how did I justify the delay?
  4. When did I last I change my mind in public?
  5. When did I last I admit that I was wrong in public?

 


For Further Reading

Importance vs. Urgency

Developing Your Professional Vision

Courage Isn't Confidence

What Do Great Leaders Do?

How Leaders Overcome Adversity

Why Change Is Hard

 

Photos: Compass by Piqsels. Weathervane by Geograph.

Andy Grove on the Right Kind of Fear

While I firmly believe in the value of psychological safety as a factor that contributes to high performance, I've also observed an unhelpful tendency in recent years to prioritize that quality above all else. [1] Anything that leads someone to feel distress is viewed as "unsafe" and thus unacceptable. But former Intel CEO Andy Grove believed that a particular kind of fear can actually play a productive role in organizational life--the fear of losing:

The quality guru W. Edwards Deming advocated stamping out fear in corporations. I have trouble with the simplemindedness of this dictum. The most important role of managers is to create an environment in which people are passionately dedicated to winning in the marketplace. Fear plays a major role in creating and maintaining such passion. Fear of competition, fear of bankruptcy, fear of being wrong and fear of losing can all be powerful motivators.

How do we cultivate fear of losing in our employees? We can only do that if we feel it ourselves. If we fear that someday, any day, some development somewhere in our environment will change the rules of the game, our associates will sense and share that dread. They will be on the lookout...

Simply put, fear can be the opposite of complacency. Complacency often afflicts precisely those who have been most successful. It is often found in companies that have honed the sort of skills that are perfect for their environment. But when their environment changes, these companies may be the slowest to respond properly. A good dose of fear of losing may help sharpen their survival instincts. [2]

However, this doesn't mean that all fear is productive. Grove made a sharp distinction between the healthy fear that dispels complacency and a very different kind of fear that is toxic to an organization's effectiveness--the fear of speaking up:

If you are a middle manager you face an additional fear: the fear that when you bring bad tidings you will be punished, the fear that your management will not want to hear the bad news from the periphery. Fear that might keep you from voicing your real thoughts is poison. Almost nothing could be more detrimental to the well-being of a company.

If you are a senior manager, keep in mind that the key role of Cassandras is to call your attention to strategic inflection points, and under no circumstances should you ever "shoot the messenger," nor should you allow any manager who works for your do to so.

I can't stress this issue strongly enough. It takes many years of consistent conduct to eliminate fear of punishment as an inhibitor of strategic discussion. It takes only one incident to introduce it. News of this incident will spread through the organization like wildfire and shut everyone up.

Once an environment of fear takes over, it will lead to paralysis throughout the organization and cut off the flow of bad news from the periphery. [3]

The figure of Cassandra provides a fitting analogy. A priestess in Greek mythology, she was the younger sister of Hector, the great warrior of Troy. The god Apollo gave Cassandra the ability to see the future, but after she rejected his advances he put a curse on her so that her true prophecies would always be disbelieved. When the Greeks left a massive wooden horse at the gates of Troy as a supposed peace offering, Cassandra warned her compatriots to destroy it, but they ignored her as they conducted a victory feast: "We stationed the monster fraught with doom on the hallowed heights of Troy. Even now Cassandra revealed the future, opening lips the gods had ruled no Trojan would believe." [4]

Cassandra tried to attack the horse with axe and fire, but she was stopped so that the feast wouldn't be disrupted. [5] That evening, of course, Greeks concealed in the horse slipped out and opened the city gates to their countrymen, leading to Troy's destruction. A healthy fear of losing and respect for a truth-teller certainly would have sharpened the Trojans' survival instincts. Their complacency and their resistance to bad news sealed their fate.

Note that Grove's position on fear is entirely consistent with that of Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson, whose research makes a compelling case for the competitive advantages to be derived from psychological safety. [6] They both emphasize the role that safety plays in encouraging people to speak up. As Grove noted, "Constructively debating tough issues and getting somewhere is only possible when people can speak their minds without fear of punishment." [7] Edmondson made the very same point nearly two decades later in a 2018 interview:

What makes a workplace psychologically safe or not?

Individuals feel they can speak up, express their concerns, and be heard. This is not to say that people are "nice." A psychologically safe workplace is one where people are not full of fear, and not trying to cover their tracks to avoid being embarrassed or punished.

What I am advocating is candor. Being open. And sometimes that might mean being direct to a fault, knowing that you have a right and a responsibility to ask hard questions about the work: "Is this the right decision? Are we collecting the right data? Do we know the impact this might have on others?" [8]

So if you're a senior leader seeking to help your organization perform at the highest possible level, how can you inspire "the right kind of fear" while avoiding "the wrong kind"? There's no simple solution or quick fix, but there are steps you can take over time:

 

1. Reward (and Model) Candor

A foundational leadership principle is that when you see behavior you want more of, acknowledge it and express appreciation for it. To minimize the fear of speaking up, whenever anyone shares information that might be viewed as "bad tidings," recognize that it may have felt risky for them to do so, and thank them. [9] The lower their position in the hierarchy, the greater the risk, which your appreciation should take into account.

This doesn't mean that you should have infinite patience for someone who's always negative. Relentless pessimism isn't the same thing as candor. But neither is unremitting optimism, and some leaders tend to reward people who only bring good news--which means they won't hear bad news until it's too late to do anything about it.

A related principle is modeling the behavior you want others to adopt. Here this entails being candid with critical feedback, even--and perhaps especially--when you're concerned about how the other person will respond. This gets easier when you provide feedback on a consistent basis, rather than waiting for review cycles [10] and when you learn how to deliver critical feedback that the other person might experience as motivational rather than demoralizing or threatening. [11]

 

2. Foster (and Model) Accountability

A healthy fear of losing is only possible when losing comes with consequences. In this context it's vitally important to create incentives to be open about mistakes and setbacks in order to learn from them. [12] Ray Dalio, founder of hedge fund Bridgewater Associates, attributes much of the firm's success to a rigorous commitment to accountability:

Having a process that ensures problems are brought to the surface, and their root causes diagnosed, assures that continual improvements occur. For that reason I insisted that an issue log be adopted throughout Bridgewater. My rule was simple: If something went badly, you had to put it in the log, characterize its severity, and make clear who was responsible for it. If a mistake happened and you logged it, you would be OK. If you didn't log it, you would be in deep trouble. [13]

This doesn't mean that you should have infinite tolerance for ineptitude and underperformance. While accountability starts with candid feedback, in some circumstances it becomes necessary to remove someone from their role. But while it's essential to avoid creating an environment in which people are constantly anxious about losing their job, having coached many leaders though this difficult process I know that when a termination is handled well it can have a galvanizing effect on the organization while also being in the best interests of the person being fired. [14]

Here it's critical that you hold yourself to the same standard. When a leader screws up, the rest of the organization often colludes in the process of quietly ignoring it in order to shield the leader from embarrassment. [15] This not only prevents the leader from learning, but also gives everyone else a convenient excuse to do the same. If, instead, you admit and publicly acknowledge your mistakes, you invite others to follow your example. [16]

 

3. Promote a Team Identity

Despite the potential benefit of a healthy fear of losing, it's all too easy for efforts to foster accountability to trigger an excess of fear, resulting in finger-pointing and blame, as Stanford professor Jeff Pfeffer has noted:

The downside of the emphasis on individual accountability is illustrated by Jody Hoffer Gittell's research on Southwest and American Airlines during the mid-1990s. American Airlines then-CEO, Robert Crandall, insisted that delays come to his attention and that the delays get assigned to individual and departments, so they would be accountable for their results and, moreover, would compete with one another to avoid creating problems...

The result of this approach was to create a culture of fear and infighting as people and units tried to pin the blame on others. Little learning occurred and on-time performance continued to lag. At Southwest Airlines, the view was that delays were everyone's problem and when they occurred, people needed to work together to learn as much as possible...

Gittell's research showed that the Southwest system produced more learning and more teamwork, resulting in better system performance, than the American Airlines approach with its emphasis on assigning individual or departmental accountability and blame. [17]

The key is ensuring that people identify with the organization as a whole and believe that they succeed or fail together. This is more difficult in certain environments, of course--if people don't truly work interdependently then a sense of team spirit may never be sufficient to overcome the incentive to escape scrutiny and avoid blame. [18] Even when people do work interdependently, they may identify more strongly with their close colleagues than with the organization, a situation described by George Halvorson, the former CEO of Kaiser Permanente:

Humans are social creatures; we fall readily into group loyalties. We instinctively divide the world into "us" and "them" and treat others very differently according to which category they’re in... Many workplaces default to a version of kinship based on function. A group’s shared identity reflects a common characteristic of its members—everyone’s an engineer, or everyone’s a radiologist. Doing similar work under the same conditions is enough to make an "us." [19]

A degree of sub-group identity is by no means a bad thing, and at times cross-functional rivalries spur fruitful competition. But they should always be subsumed within a larger organizational identity--a "greater us" [20]--which you as the leader must personally embody. [21]

 

4. Regulate Your Emotions

Finally, in all of these efforts it's essential to regulate your emotions, which is one of the most common--and most challenging--themes in my practice. To be clear, note that regulate does not mean suppress. We can suppress emotions for short periods of time, but not for long, and in some circumstances the effort actually heightens the feeling we're seeking to minimize. [22] But the goal isn't to pretend you're not having any feelings at all--it's to express your feelings in such a way they help you achieve your goals, rather than serve as obstacles.

The work of emotion regulation is never easy, but it's particularly difficult when dealing with fear, perhaps the most primal and powerful emotion. [23] A hallmark of ineffective leaders is their inability to grasp the difference between "the right kind of fear" and all other kinds. Such leaders generate fear indiscriminately and imagine that they're cultivating a healthy fear of losing, but fail to recognize the negative impact on those around them: self-censorship, excessive caution, risk-aversion. Ultimately the organization pays a price as talented people leave or choose to remain under duress (and then only as long as financial incentives are sufficient to be motivating.)

The alternative is to be deliberate, thoughtful and intentional in leveraging the power of emotions, both positive and negative, when taking any of the steps noted above: acknowledging bad news, providing feedback, learning from failure, holding others accountable, holding yourself accountable, creating a sense of camaraderie.

In addition, let's recognize that even the fear of losing is counter-productive when taken to extremes, and sometimes that affects a leader internally. I've worked with many leaders who felt overwhelmed by the prospect of failure or even just the sense that they were falling short of expectations (their own or those of others) or falling "behind" in some type of competition (real or imagined). The purpose of emotion regulation isn't merely to assuage other peoples' fears, but also one's own.

Cultivating the capacity for emotion regulation is the work of a lifetime, and you'll probably never feel that you've "mastered" it, if only because it's necessary for our survival that emotions not be subject to willful control. [24] But my work with leaders makes it clear that you can improve your ability to inspire a healthy fear of losing without inadvertently triggering a poisonous fear of speaking up:

 


Footnotes

[1] Safety Is a Resource, Not a Destination

[2] Only the Paranoid Survive: How to Exploit the Crisis Points That Challenge Every Company, pages 117-118 (Andy Grove, 1999)

[3] Ibid, pages 118-119.

[4] The Aeneid, page 83 (Homer, translated by Robert Fagles, 2008)

[5] The Fall of Troy, Book XII (Quintus Smyrnaeus, translated by A.S. Way, 1913)

[6] For more on Amy Edmondson's work on psychological safety, see the following:

[7] Grove, page 117.

[8] Make Your Employees Feel Psychologically Safe (Martha Lagace interviewing Amy Edmondson, Harvard Business School Working Knowledge, 2018)

[9] Risk Management (The Importance of Speaking Up)

[10] Make Feedback Normal. Not a Performance Review.

[11] How to Deliver Critical Feedback

[12] The Ruling Out of Possibilities (On Failure)

[13] Principles: Life and Work, page 62 (Ray Dalio, 2017)

[14] Merciful Exits (On Under-Performing Executives)

[15] Overcoming Organizational Defense: Facilitating Organizational Learning, page 25 (Chris Argyris, 1990)

[16] I know from personal experience that publicly acknowledging my mistakes in a leadership role is simultaneously mortifying, liberating, and profoundly useful to those around me:

[17] Changing Mental Models: HR's Most Important Task (Jeffrey Pfeffer, Chapter 19 in The Future of Human Resource Management, Mike Losey, Dave Ulrich and Sue Meisinger, editors, 2005)

[18] What Kind of Team Are We?

[19] Getting to "Us" (George Halvorson, Harvard Business Review, 2014)

[20] Startup Leadership: A Greater Us

[21] Leader as Avatar

[22] For more on the impact of suppressing emotions:

[23] The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life (Joseph LeDoux, 1998)

[24] White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts: Suppression, Obsession, and the Psychology of Mental Control, page 123 (Daniel Wegner, 2nd edition, 1994)

 

Photo by Giuseppe Milo.

Flawless Teamwork

The image above is a clip from a video shot at the 2013 Australian Grand Prix. [1] The Ferrari team had two drivers in the race that day, Fernando Alonso, who finished second, and Felipe Massa, who finished fourth, although I haven't been able to determine who was driving this car. [2]

But the driver is the least interesting person in the scene to me. I'm much more interested in the 23 members of the pit crew, who do their jobs flawlessly, functioning as a single unit. I'm mesmerized by their synchronous movement, and I'm in awe of the training and dedication it must take to achieve that level of teamwork.

I imagine the competition for each of these jobs is incredibly fierce. And yet these roles are essentially anonymous--if I can't even determine who's driving, I'll never learn the names of the pit crew. What a striking example of setting one's ego aside in order to participate on a high-performing team.

I'm not suggesting this should be the model for every team at all times--organizational life isn't a Formula One race. But Wharton professor Ethan Mollick, who first brought this video to my attention [3], points to a case study showing how surgical teams reviewed pit crews to improve their coordination in the operating room. [4]

So this clip prompts some questions worth asking when considering whether a team is achieving its full potential:

 

And while I find the loop above useful to observe each member at work and get a sense for the team's overall choreography, it's also worth listening to a version with the volume up to get the full F1 experience:

The eagle-eyed Jim Bonsell has pointed out the #3 on the Ferrari's nose, which indicates that the driver is Fernando Alonso. Alonso not only placed second in that day's race, he also finished the 2013 F1 season in second, and he's finished first or second in seven other F1 seasons. Pretty good teamwork!


Footnotes

[1] Scott Bellchambers, Ferrari F1 Pit Stop Perfection (YouTube, 2013)

[2] 2013 Australian Grand Prix, Melbourne, March 17, 2013

[3] Ethan Mollick @emollick: "A great example of borrowing innovation from one field for another. Doctors at a struggling children's hospital sent videos of their post-surgical hand-offs to Ferrari's F1 pit crew (see the GIF!) to improve. They reworked the process & reduced associated errors rates by 66%." (October 15, 2020)

[4] Ferrari’s Formula One Handovers and Handovers from Surgery to Intensive Care. (American Society for Quality, excerpted from chapter 10 of "Benchmarking for Hospitals: Achieving Best-in-Class Performance Without Having to Reinvent the Wheel," by Victor Sower, Jo Ann Duffy, and Gerald Kohers, 2008)

How Far Apart Are We? (Degrees of Disagreement)

Arms Wide by Sharyn Morrow sharynmorrow 114934678 EDIT

Most of my clients are CEOs whose C-level executives have deep domain expertise, and most of the rest are operating leaders at other levels who highly value their employees' input. So it's rare for one of them to make a decision overruling a direct report, but that's an inevitable aspect of management. [1]

When this occurs it's important for the leader to anticipate how their employee will respond and assess we might call the degree of disagreement. So if you're a leader about to veto an employee's preferences, reject their recommendation, or overturn a prior decision of theirs, consider where they're likely to land along this spectrum:

  • Understanding: Has a different point of view, but appreciates your perspective, with no loss of trust.
  • Disappointed: Wishes the outcome were different, but no lasting hard feelings, with no loss of trust.
  • Unhappy: Believes that you're making a serious error, with a loss of trust in your judgment.
  • Betrayed: Believes that you misled them, with a loss of trust in your intentions. [2]

Note that the same spectrum applies to decisions related to hiring, firing, promotions and layoffs. If you're poised to make a decision that will affect someone's employment or modify their role, consider how they might feel about your working relationship:

  • Understanding: Eager to continue working with you or to work with you again in the future.
  • Disappointed: Willing to continue working with you or to work with you again in the future.
  • Unhappy: Reluctant to continue working with you or to work with you again in the future.
  • Betrayed: Will no longer work with you, and may advise others not to work with you.

The goal is to increase the likelihood of understanding and minimize the risk of betrayal (and in the latter case, what matters is your employee's belief that they were misled, not whether you actually misled them.) There's no guaranteed means of arriving at understanding, nor can that be your only priority. If you're like my clients, you must regularly make decisions that are in the best interests of your organization but will leave people feeling disappointed, unhappy, and, on occasion, betrayed.

The key is evoking empathy, which can be difficult under the best of circumstances. As I've written before, we typically fail to "empathize up" with people in positions of authority or influence over us:

It’s essential to remember that the people we’re leading will find it very difficult to empathize with us. They will be unlikely to understand our perspective and our emotions unless we make the effort to be explicit about them. They will make snap judgments about us and readily misinterpret our behavior unless we go out of our way to share our rationale and explain our intentions. They will be reticent to communicate any of these views unless we initiate a dialogue in which we’re active participants, not just questioners. [2]

So how might you make it more likely to achieve understanding, even--and especially--when stakes are high and there are strong feelings on all sides? There's no magical solution, but there are some steps you can take, in the moment and over time, that will help you handle these rare but inevitable situations with as much grace as possible:

Identity and question your underlying assumptions regarding this decision (including whether you need to make it): 

Prepare for a difficult conversation and choose the right medium for the dialogue:

Cultivate your ability to speak directly and empathetically, as well as your capacity for emotion regulation:

Invest in your working relationships and their capacity to acknowledge, address and resolve difficult issues:

 


Footnotes

[1] Two Sides of Trust

[2] The Difficulty of Empathizing Up

 

Photo by Sharyn Morrow.

Should You Apologize? (It Depends)

Mike-Ditka EDIT

Mike Ditka is not sorry. [1]

Most of my clients are CEOs, and most of the rest are senior leaders with a similar profile that puts them in the public eye. They give interviews and speak at conferences. A number have a large social media presence. And when something goes wrong or attracts adverse attention at their company, they're often responsible for addressing the issue, which means that they may be expected to offer an apology.

If you're in the same position, there are many circumstances in which the ability to make a compelling apology will serve you and your organization well, and an inability to apologize effectively will magnify and escalate otherwise avoidable problems. Psychologist Karina Schumann notes the benefits of apologizing and the nature of meaningful apologies:

Research on conflict management suggests that an apology is one of the most powerful tools that transgressors can use to resolve an offense...especially high-quality apologies that are comprehensive (i.e., include many apology elements, such as an acceptance of responsibility and offer of repair) and non-defensive (i.e., do not include self-protective strategies, such as justifications or victim blaming). [2]

This is consistent with an observation from my practice, where conflicts are often truly resolved only after the higher-status person expresses vulnerability in some form. [3] Effective apologies typically convey a degree of vulnerability, which in most circumstances evokes an empathic response, which is the key to forgiveness.

But is apologizing always helpful? Absolutely not, and work by political scientist Richard Hanania should give you pause before you issue a pro forma apology:

There are reasons to believe that apologizing makes public figures appear weak and risk averse, which may make them less attractive as people and lead members of the public to want to punish them... Overall, the evidence suggests that when a prominent figure apologizes for a controversial statement, the public is either unaffected or becomes more likely to desire that the individual be punished. [4]

Further, a study by ethicist and corporate governance expert Daryl Koehn and professor of management Maria Goranova on the impact of "corporate apologies" on the share prices of public companies revealed not only that such statements generally have a negligible effect, but also that investors actually react negatively to more emotional apologies. The authors conclude that, "What in theory might seem likely to restore trust may in practice damage the firm’s standing in the eyes of shareholders." [5]

I'm not suggesting that you adopt the philosophy of 19th-century English educator and theologian Benjamin Jowett, who praised the advice of a friend: "Never retract. Never explain. Never apologise. Get it done and let them howl." [6] This approach may have a visceral appeal, but it clearly has its limitations. Psychologist Schumann has found that one of the main reasons people resist apologizing is because it threatens their self-image, a challenge that's compounded for people with low self-esteem. [7] This aligns with work by legal scholar Brent White, who notes that the ability to apologize is a sign of high self-esteem and emotional maturity:

Individuals with high inner-directed self-esteem can more easily acknowledge their flaws because they believe fundamentally that they are reasonable and decent people. When such people apologize, they are merely admitting, in their minds, that they made a mistake, which does not threaten their identity. [8]

If you find yourself automatically resisting every opportunity to apologize, a la Dr. Jowett, you run the risk of allowing feelings to prevent you from choosing the right course of action. But while emotions should inform our behavior, they shouldn't dictate behavior, and a theme in my work with leaders is the importance of emotion regulation and the means by which we can be more effective at managing our feelings. [9] Also, note that additional research cited by Schumann found that people "overestimate the aversiveness of apologizing, anticipating that it will feel more humiliating and stressful to apologize than it actually feels." [10]

But you may well face the opposite problem and feel pressure to apologize for any perceived transgression, no matter how trivial. The penitent leader has become a familiar figure in contemporary culture, and as Keuhn and Goranova note, "Since the late 1990s, the number of apologies being offered by CEOs of large companies has exploded." [11] This raises the problem highlighted by Hanania and echoed by Keuhn and Goranova: Some apologies not only fail to evoke the intended response, but are actually counter-productive. Here, too, emotion regulation has an important role to play--if you always feel compelled to apologize, yet again, your feelings may well lead you down the wrong path.

There's no simple solution to determining whether an apology is merited or will serve you well, of course, but a concept that comes up frequently in my practice may help you navigate these situations more easily: Empathy is not agreement. As I've written before,

We act as though empathizing with someone entails endorsing their perspective and their feelings, but this need not be the case. Understanding someone’s perspective and their emotions while suspending our judgments about both does not necessarily imply that we agree with that perspective or believe that the resulting emotions are justified. It simply means that we comprehend their perspective and emotions, and we are able to envision ourselves experiencing that perspective and those emotions under similar circumstances. Just as we can empathize with someone without sympathizing, we can empathize with someone while disagreeing with them and considering their perspective inaccurate and their emotions unwarranted. [12]

I'm reminded of a relevant example from corporate history: Intel's Pentium launch in 1994. [13] The Pentium microprocessor contained an obscure design flaw that Intel had determined posed no risk to end users. But eventually the company responded to public outcry and pressure from partners such as IBM, offering to replace all of the defective chips and writing off $475 million in replacement parts and junked material ($900 million in 2022 dollars). CEO Andy Grove never agreed with users' concerns--he remained convinced that the design flaw was utterly trivial--but he empathized with consumers who had come to feel that "Intel Inside" was a sign of quality and that the company's actions were inconsistent with that brand promise. Even when announcing that Intel would replace all Pentium chips, Grove didn't apologize for the design flaw, but for appearing "arrogant and uncaring." [14] Intel's share price was essentially flat in 1994, but the following year it began a staggering 5-year bull run (before returning to earth in the first dot-com crash), making it clear that Grove struck the right balance, neither alienating consumers and investors, nor allowing himself to be perceived as weak.

 


Footnotes

[1] The Legend of Mike Ditka's Bird (NFL Films)

"And you know what? If I had to do it over again, I'd do it over again. Screw 'em." ~Mike Ditka, 2015

[2] The Psychology of Offering an Apology: Understanding the Barriers to Apologizing and How to Overcome Them (Karina Schumann, Association for Psychological Science, 2018)

[3] Resolving a Protracted Conflict

[4] Does Apologizing Work? An Empirical Test of the Conventional Wisdom (Richard Hanania, Behavioral Public Policy, 2015). Thanks to Ethan Mollick for the reference to this paper.

[5] Do Investors See Value in Ethically Sound CEO Apologies? Investigating Stock Market Reaction to CEO Apologies (Daryl Koehn and Maria Goranova, Journal of Business Ethics, 2018)

[6] "Never retract, never explain, never apologise." (Garson O'Toole, LinguistList, 2010). Jowett's friend was probably politician and educator James Kay-Shuttleworth. This saying is often attributed to people such as suffragist Nellie McClung, politician Agnes Macphail, Winston Churchill, or Gertrude Stein, but it seems likely that it originated with Jowett and Kay-Shuttleworth (who predate these others) in some form.

[7] Schumann, 2018.

[8] Saving Face: The Benefits of Not Saying I'm Sorry (Brent White, Law and Contemporary Problems, 2009)

[9] For more on emotion regulation, see the following:

[10] Schumann, 2018.

[11] Keuhn and Goranova, 2018.

[12] The Difficulty of Empathizing Up

[13] Only the Paranoid Survive: How to Exploit the Crisis Points that Challenge Every Company, pages 12-19 (Andy Grove, 1999)

[14] Intel Surrenders Over Flawed Pentium Chip (Associated Press, Deseret News, December 20, 1994): "Since the uproar over the defects in its showcase product first surfaced a month ago, the company had required that owners show why they needed a replacement. This infuriated many customers, made Intel the butt of jokes and raised basic questions about Intel's sensitivity to the market. 'To some people, this seemed arrogant and uncaring. We apologize for that,' Andrew Grove, Intel's president and chief executive officer, said in a conference call with industry analysts. 'What we view as an extremely minor technical problem has taken on a life of its own,' Grove said. Intel has placed the chance of hitting the flaw as one in 27,000 years. 'We were motivated by a belief that replacement is simply unnecessary for most people. We still feel that way, but we are changing our policy because we want there to be no doubt that we stand behind this product.'"

Power Struggles Among Nice People

Arm-Wrestling by KAZ Vorpal kazvorpal 7993121237 EDIT

Most of my clients are CEOs of growing companies, most of the rest are C-level executives in similar settings, and a number of others are leaders in investment or professional services firms. In order to be effective in these roles they must be able to influence others, wield authority, and maintain status. At the same time my clients are conscientious people who care about the well-being of their employees and colleagues, aspire to make a positive difference in the world, and are striving to do their best.

As a result of these factors, a theme in my practice is what I describe as "power struggles among nice people." And yet a challenge is that many of us imagine that people who engage in power struggles aren't very nice, and that nice people shouldn't struggle for power. This leaves us with a stark choice: Be an asshole and win, or be a decent person and lose--but it doesn't have to be that way.

 

1. The Ubiquity of Power Struggles

We often think of a power struggle as a rancorous, zero-sum battle between bitter enemies, but that's just one version, and it's relatively rare. Far more common are the everyday efforts noted above: influencing others, wielding authority, maintaining status. Consider how often we engage in these activities every single day, and how infrequently we employ formal decision-making frameworks or conflict-resolution tools in the process. From this perspective we can define a power struggle in much less charged terms: any situation in which the parties must assert themselves to overcome resistance and achieve their preferred outcome.

There are no cartoon villains and few outsized expressions of force in these everyday power struggles. As I've noted before, force and power are not the same thing--force is "strength or energy as an attribute of action," while power as "the ability to produce an effect." [1] Most power struggles are rather mundane affairs, and in this sense we might think of them as the "dark matter" of organizational life--they affect almost everything but escape observation unless we're paying close attention. [2]

Why are power struggles so common? There's certainly a connection with our origins as a species. Primates rely on social structures to obtain resources and to defeat or evade threats, and humans possess the singular advantage of being able to cooperate in larger groups than our evolutionary rivals. [3] This has allowed us to dominate the planet, but as a consequence we face much greater competition from within the group, and we've had to develop a complex set of social skills to assert our preferences while minimizing intra-group conflict. [4] A similar pattern of constant, non-violent power struggles can be observed in the chimpanzee, which, notably, is the only other species of great ape whose social groups include multiple males that co-exist in a shifting dominance hierarchy. [5]

But we may wonder why humans continue to rely on informal displays of power to accomplish these goals. Why don't we utilize the other decision-making frameworks and conflict-resolution tools that we've developed more frequently? Because power struggles are often more effective than those alternatives.

 

2. The Desirability of Power Struggles

When defined as "zero-sum battles between bitter rivals," power struggles are obviously undesirable. Such efforts waste time and resources, cause needless division, and serve as distractions from more productive activities. But when we recognize a broader definition, it becomes apparent that power struggles are more efficient or less costly than the alternatives, which generally fall into one of three categories: voting, consensus, and hierarchy.

Voting is possible only under a highly specific set of circumstances: Decision-making authority can be fairly apportioned by vote, whether by person, ownership share, or some other method. All parties agree that a decision must be made at a certain point in time, after which further efforts to influence the outcome will be counter-productive. And the most powerful parties can be trusted to abide by the outcome when a vote doesn't go their way. We can easily see why voting is used so rarely in organizational life--although it's worth noting that votes are preceded by campaigns to win support in which expressions of power may figure heavily.

Consensus also comes with necessary preconditions: All parties must reach agreement in order to move forward, and even the least powerful figure has the authority to withhold approval. Complicating matters is the contemporary preference for the appearance of egalitarianism, which often results in a half-hearted attempt at obtaining consensus that inevitably stalls, at which point the most powerful party pulls rank and dispenses with the charade, resulting in a full-blown power struggle. But even in an authentic attempt to reach consensus, the discussions and debates that comprise the process are themselves a type of power struggle.

While there are companies, industries, and even parts of the world where hierarchy remains a primary means of decision-making and conflict resolution, that's not the case in my clients' organizations. To a large extent this is the result of two related trends in management over the past century: the increasing importance of the "knowledge worker" [6] and the move away from centralized command-and-control structures. [7] My clients and almost all of their employees and colleagues are knowledge workers of one sort or another, and in this context the leader who merely issues directives will eventually pay a price. Knowledge workers put a high value on latitude and autonomy, and they have a low tolerance for being repeatedly overruled.

But while leaders might refrain from relying explicitly on hierarchy to avoid alienating their employees, this isn't to suggest that hierarchy is absent or irrelevant. Hierarchical distinctions are a constant presence even in the flattest organizations [8], and parties engaged in a power struggle may exploit any such advantages in their efforts to prevail. But the subtle use of a hierarchical distinction while conducting a power struggle is very different than a dictatorial command. In these settings, most directives imposed via hierarchy can be viewed as the outcomes of failed power struggles, in which the leader had hoped to avoid "giving an order." [9]

So we see that alternative means of decision-making and conflict-resolution come with constraints that render them impractical in many circumstances, and that even when such means are employed the process typically involves a series of power struggles. Given these conditions, we might imagine that anyone who aspires to succeed as a leader would be ready to engage in power struggles on a regular basis--and yet that's not always the case. Many leaders in my practice report feeling surprised when power struggles occur, resentful of the obligation to participate in them, and depleted by the demands of the process. Why is this? What prevents these leaders from being better prepared for and more effective at engaging in this fundamental feature of organizational life?

 

3. The Problem with Nice People

As noted above, my clients can be characterized as "high-achieving nice people," and in my experience many nice people are uncomfortable with displays of power and put a premium on maintaining interpersonal harmony, which puts them at a disadvantage when they're obligated to assert themselves and overcome resistance in order to obtain a desired outcome. Further, if they continue to emphasize personal achievement over cultivating power and influence, they eventually limit their professional success.

To understand why, we turn to the work of the eminent 20th-century psychologist David McClelland, one of the leading scholars on human motivation, who theorized that people are driven primarily by three distinct needs [10]:

  • The need for achievement, or "doing something better for its own sake, or to show [that one] is more capable of doing something." [11]
  • The need for power, or concern "about having 'impact, control, or influence over another person, group, or the world at large.'" [12]
  • The need for affiliation, "or the need to be with people" and a concern with "establishing, maintaining, or restoring a positive affective relationship with another person or persons." [13]

McClelland also studied people's capacity for "activity inhibition," or impulse control, and his research showed that the most successful senior leaders display 1) a relatively high need for power, 2) a relatively low need for affiliation, and 3) a high degree of impulse control, a distinctive pattern that he called "leadership motive syndrome." McClelland found that people who possessed this combination of traits were most likely to obtain senior leadership positions, ultimately outpacing those who merely had a high need for achievement. [14]

The latter group's focus on improved performance and desire for personal feedback helped them succeed at the outset of their careers, but limited their effectiveness at scale when results must be obtained not merely through individual effort but through the ability to lead others, and when feedback cycles are long and unpredictable. [15] In addition, McClelland noted that people with a high need for affiliation often have shortcomings as leaders as they strive to avoid conflict and prioritize warm relationships. [16]

These conclusions pose some significant challenges for "nice high-achievers":

  • Nice people underestimate the importance of power and influence in long-term success at senior levels.
  • They overestimate the importance of personal achievement and being liked.
  • A consequent reluctance to engage in everyday power struggles prevents them from learning how to display power and exert influence effectively.

But a deeper understanding of this research makes clear that "nice people" aren't doomed to underachieve--and even possess several key advantages.

 

4. The Opportunity for Nice People

Let's highlight the relative dimension of McClelland's "leadership motive syndrome." It's not the case that effective senior leaders must possess the greatest possible need for power, or that a high need for affiliation is an inherent barrier to a senior role. The point is simply that their need for power must be relatively higher than their need for affiliation--in other words, senior leaders can't allow a desire to be liked or a preference for harmony to prevent them from displaying power or exerting influence when necessary.

Further, note the importance of impulse control in the most effective senior leaders. An alternative pattern of traits identified by McClelland was 1) a high need for power, 2) a low need for affiliation, and 3) a low degree of impulse control, which he called "conquistador syndrome." [17] Leaders who exhibit this pattern may enjoy some success, but their self-aggrandizing displays of power limit their effectiveness at senior levels, as McClelland and his colleague David Burnham concluded in a summary of their research:

The top manager of a company must possess a high need for power--that is, a concern for influencing people. However, this need must be disciplined and controlled so that it is directed toward the benefit of the institution as a whole and not toward the manager's personal aggrandizement... We discovered one more fact in studying the better managers... They were more mature. Mature people can be most simply described as less egotistic. Somehow their positive self-image is not at stake in their jobs. They are less defensive, more willing to seek advice from experts, and have a longer-range view. [18]

Put differently, the most successful senior leaders have a substantial capacity for emotion regulation. [19] They don't allow fleeting feelings to translate into counter-productive behavior. As McClelland noted, people with a high need for power think about "carrying out a number of impulsive aggressive acts...but they did not in fact do them more often" than people with a low need for power. [20] And nice people typically share that capacity for emotion regulation (even if it's often put to use in efforts to generate warmth and evoke positive feelings in others.)

Finally, observations from my practice suggest that nice people are likely to rank high on two dimensions of "emotional style" identified by neuroscientist Richard Davidson that are relevant here: 1) context-sensitivity, or the ability to grasp what will be perceived as appropriate in a given situation and tailor one's behavior accordingly, and 2) social intuition, or the ability to assess others' mental and emotional states on the basis of body language, tone of voice, and similar data. [21]

In sum, while nice people may have to overcome some self-imposed obstacles in order to engage in everyday power struggles, they're also likely to possess several characteristics that will enable them to be more effective in the process. So if you identify with this description--if you're a "nice high-achiever"--where do you go from here?

 

5. Putting It Into Practice

A note on social identity, including, but not limited to, gender and orientation, race and ethnicity, education and class background: I'm keenly aware that in many settings the behaviors that convey power and influence are historically associated with people who already hold power and influence. I realize that if you don't match that description in your organizational context you may well face additional obstacles when your efforts to exert power and influence run counter to the expectations imposed upon you as a result of your social identity. That said, I'm equally aware that merely conforming to those expectations is a likely path to frustration and underachievement. When we're not in a position to change the surrounding culture, one of the key steps is determining how to conform just enough to that culture to avoid being rejected by it while also ensuring that the culture doesn't dictate our behavior to our disadvantage--which is a challenge I've addressed with many "nice high-achievers" in my practice over the years. [22]

Our needs for achievement, power and affiliation are informed by a range of sources, from our family environments as children to our education and professional training to the culture at large. But if we determine that our current needs are resulting in behaviors that make it more difficult to achieve our goals, we can change our approach with a degree of self-awareness, deliberate effort, and practice over time. (McClelland noted the efficacy of management training workshops in helping leaders modify their styles and deliver improved results. [23])

It's also evident to me from my years as a coach and experiential educator that we can (and must) distinguish between our personal preferences and what is being asked of us in a given situation, and that effective leaders consistently get out of their comfort zone to experiment with new behaviors, even (and especially) when such efforts feel awkward or inauthentic. If you identify as a "nice high-achiever," I suspect that being more assertive to overcome resistance and obtain your desired outcome will feel uncomfortable--and I'm absolutely certain that you needn't allow such feelings to stand in your way. I'm hopeful that this reading provides a useful starting point in that process--and it's just a starting point. What's next?

Consider your beliefs about power and influence and how they affect your approach to everyday power struggles:

Learn more about the means by which power and influence are displayed and the behaviors that convey power and influence:

Actively experiment with alternative approaches, especially any that feel uncomfortable or inauthentic:

Get regular feedback and integrate it into your ongoing efforts:

 

Dedicated to Jeffrey Pfeffer.

I didn't take Jeff's class "Paths to Power" when I was an MBA student at Stanford, but I discovered his work on power as a coach and it deeply informed not only my work with clients, but also my teaching when I later joined the Stanford faculty and became a junior colleague to Jeff. It's my understanding that I'm the only faculty member who ever taught Interpersonal Dynamics (aka "Touchy Feely") and included Jeff's work on my syllabus, in part because I believe the course's T-groups are one of the best settings in which we can learn about power.


Footnotes

[1] Force Isn't Power

[2] What Is Dark Matter? (Nola Taylor Redd, Space.com, 2019)

[3] Neocortex size as a constraint on group size in primates (Robin Dunbar, Journal of Human Evolution, 1992)

[4] Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect, page 32 (Matthew Lieberman, 2013)

[5] Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes pages 104-105 (Franz de Waal, 2007). My understanding of De Waal's work suggests that while chimpanzee power struggles can turn violent and occasionally prove fatal, the vast majority involve dominance displays and the re-shuffling of hierarchical relationships rather than the elimination of rivals.

[6] The Effective Executive: The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done (Peter Drucker, 1966): "Today...the large knowledge organization is the central reality. Modern society is a society of large organized institutions. In every one of them...the center of gravity has shifted to the knowledge worker... The knowledge worker cannot be supervised closely or in detail. He can only be helped." (pages 3-4)

[7] Beyond Theory Y (John Morse and Jay Lorsch, Harvard Business Review, 1970): "With highly uncertain tasks that require more extensive problem solving...organizations that are less formalized and emphasize self-control and member participation in decision making are more effective."

[8] Organizational Preferences and Their Consequences (Deborah Gruenfeld and Larissa Tiedens, Chapter 33 in the Handbook of Social Psychology, 2010): "The production of hierarchy is a central and omnipresent component of organizing."

[9] Leaders sometimes express a desire to operate in a more hierarchical environment where they could just "issue orders, like in the military." But I once asked a Navy SEAL officer how often he had given an order overriding a subordinate's dissent. "Twice," he said, "in thirteen years." Here, too, I'm reminded of a comment from Frans de Waal's research on chimpanzees, cited above, in which he notes that high-ranking members of a group seldom show their teeth in aggressive displays, presumably because they don't need to. (page 21)

[10] For an extensive discussion of each of these needs, see Human Motivation, Chapters 7-9 (David McClelland, 1987). Having developed his "motivational needs theory" around these three drives in the 1960s and '70s, later in his career McClelland suggested that a fourth such drive is the "avoidance motive," characterized by a fear of failure and a need to minimize anxiety and reduce distress (and discussed in Human Motivation, Chapter 10.) However, while McClelland's research on leadership identifies a relationship among the first three needs, he doesn't integrate the avoidance motive in the same way, nor is it included in most discussions of his theory, so I've omitted it here as well.

[11] Ibid, page 229.

[12] Ibid, page 271. (McClelland cites a definition made by his colleague and former student David Winter: The Power Motive, 1973.)

[13] Ibid, page 347. (McClelland cites a definition made by his longtime collaborator John Atkinson with Roger Heyns and Joseph Veroff: The effect of experimental arousal of the affiliation motive on thematic apperception, The Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 1954.)

[14] Ibid, page 313:

"By way of contrast, those with high n Achievement peaked in their careers [earlier]. The nonlinear trend is significant. The explanation seems to lie in the fact that individuals high in n Achievement are used to doing things by themselves and for themselves... They are able to advance in the company as long as their job involves the individual contributions they make. However, at higher levels the focus on the job shifts to influencing others. The greater success of those with the leadership motive syndrome at this level can be explained on the grounds that they are interested in influencing others (the high n Power score), they are not unduly concerned about whether they are liked or not (the low n Affiliation score), and they are self controlled (the high Activity Inhibition score)."

[15] Ibid, page 254.

[16] Ibid, pages 354-355.

[17] Ibid, page 312.

[18] Power Is the Great Motivator (David McClelland and David Burnham, Harvard Business Review, originally written 1976, revised 1995, republished 2003.)

[19] The Tyranny of Feelings

[20] Human Motivation, page 281.

[21] The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel, and Live--and How You Can Change Them (Richard Davidson and Sharon Begley, 2012)

[22] Conform to the Culture Just Enough

[23] "Power Is the Great Motivator" (McClelland and Burnham)

 

Photo by KAZ Vorpal.